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Old 04-19-05, 04:35 PM   #1
DQ
Odi et Amo
 
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For tomorrow's day
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When I die tomorrow
tell it to the trees
how much I loved you.
Tell it to the wind
that climbs in the trees
and falls out of the branches
how much I loved you.
Tell it to a child
that is yet young enough to understand.
Tell it to an animal
perhaps just by looking at it.
Tell it to the brick houses
tell it to the city
how dear you were to me.


But do not tell a single human being
for they wouldn't believe you.
They wouldn't want to believe that
just a man
just a woman
that a human loved another human
as much as I loved you.
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Old 04-19-05, 04:36 PM   #2
DQ
Odi et Amo
 
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Originally written in Dutch but I translated it...

DQ
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Old 04-20-05, 02:49 AM   #3
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This Is Good Nice Imagery Here Topics Been Used 89057834098462379082720948275028724389043 Times So Simplisity Wouldnt Usually Work But It Seems To Have Worked For You Here Nice Drop Overall Good Work Just Up Your Vocab A Little Bit
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No I wont battle you, usage of the word ducked is played. get over it Im mod........have a nice day.

^^in other words your scared running from a battle on a site made for battling and your mod so you dont have to battle you just duck and pop shit?
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Old 04-20-05, 09:34 AM   #4
Critic
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Sup ma I was feeling the emotions pour out of this verse,.. it was really deep
but to be fair on my girl Vocab isn't really important to a poem...

It's the emotion you can feel in the words and the way it's written that makes
a poem good or not... the fundemental aspects of writing a topical verse or a
battle verse.

Stay up ma

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Old 04-20-05, 11:30 AM   #5
DQ
Odi et Amo
 
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Thanks for feed

It's much appreciated and will be returned!

DQ
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Old 04-20-05, 11:47 PM   #6
50Cal.
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return the feed on my piece thats stickeyed
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Old 04-21-05, 02:46 PM   #7
Lil C
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wow bout time!!!! lol just playin girl i still got mad luv fo ya lol but neways dis was HOTT piece; got some hott ass emotions up in dis 1 n dats wat set dis poem to da top!!! lol neways nice drop girl...keep it up...1
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Old 04-21-05, 02:58 PM   #8
DQ
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Thanks people for feedback, it's much appreciated!

^Hehe, yeah, thanks gurl!!!

DQ
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Old 04-21-05, 05:50 PM   #9
Acuity
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this was annoyingly good...up vocab, more imagery, more description....dont drop his good in our battle, that will b much apreciated...
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Old 04-22-05, 05:10 PM   #10
DQ
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^I'll do my best lolz...

DQ
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Old 04-22-05, 06:38 PM   #11
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i liked this...it was simple, yet strong....short, yet emotionally gripping.....this was a good piece dq, the structure/line setup really made me hang on in this one, and it had very good emotion....yo yo yo people, dont judge a book by its cover, it wasn't long, but still very effective, keep up yo
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Old 04-22-05, 07:01 PM   #12
DQ
Odi et Amo
 
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Thanks man, I personally think the original sounds better but I doubt you guys would understand Dutch so figured I'd translate it...

DQ
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Old 04-22-05, 07:13 PM   #13
Germ
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ps...im writing a poem, could you look over it when im done?/i wanted to read this again
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Old 04-22-05, 07:35 PM   #14
DQ
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^No prob, just hit me up with the link if you dropped it! Always return the favor, sometimes you gotta remind me though lolz

DQ
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Old 04-23-05, 08:59 AM   #15
BkBrawla
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Short but yet, had alot of things in it. Imaginary was "poor" in my opinion in this piece. But the emotion you had from this piece was good, i liked the way you expressed ya self girl. Use some damn vocab for once.

Good drop.
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