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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
05-22-05, 06:46 PM
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#1
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Flyweight
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Untitled
IP: 0C00 3EB9
I’ve been sent from god, I’m a prophet I’m destine to be on earth for a reason Hate and good scribbled like an omelet Trying so hard to stay out of the arson When I was born, I knew at the end I die Don’t know how, no fortune teller can tell Death is like a gift, unexpected surprise Which way will I go? Heaven or hell It depends what obstacle I will take in life Hopefully god, will direct me to the right Bad as a big hole, good is small like an fife Fate is always there, hopefully I step into the light Love. Love love, what is there in love????? Envy, jealously, fight between trust and scheme Love is always be here, it’s nothing to avoid of Love has tricks up it’s sleeve, eyes can deceive |
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05-23-05, 09:17 PM
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#2
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Banned: Biting
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IP: FE4C 9A0C
NOPE. not at all. i really dont like this flow. i know alot of styles like this. and its not a very good one. this flow was mediocre. not up to standards. the syllable counts on your lines were off by many. but its ok. i rate this 7/10....you can do better.
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05-24-05, 07:32 PM
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#3
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<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP: 3240 794D
Quote:
^^^ overall it was pretty decent,it seemed more like you were talking, but maybe next time,switch up your flow/rhyme scheme to blend more together, to make the readers enjoy it more, the omelet part is where you lost it,just double check vocab and spelling and it will fall into place......not bad at all, keep dropping..1
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D   *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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