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Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio ![]() |
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Do Re Mi
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![]() IP: F974 6254
so im walkin down the street with my boys at my side/
and some crazy cats with gats pull up in a ride/ they said hand ova ya jewels, ya watch, and ya money/ i started laffin, he said aint nothin funny/ i replied, wide eyed, i said please dont shoot/ he said shutup before i stomp you wit my boot/ once again i snickered, my boys laffed too/ i said listen my man, id put down the gun if i was you/ he said fuck you man, you aint packin, i know/ i said ya thats true, but what a bout the five- o/ he said fuck the po po, i shoot em for fun/ jus then he heard a shout, put down that gun/ he turned around in shock/ i said i warned ya bout the cops/ now spread ya legs and put ya hand in the air/ dont drop the soap, and remember life aint fair/ he said youll get yours when i get out the cell/ i said maybe you will, and maybe theirs ice in hell/ he said ya you jokin now, but when i get out ya done/ i said what ya gonna do, they took away ya gun/ as they put him in the cruiser he continued to shout/ the officer said dont worry son he aint gettin out/ i know officer thats why im not concerned/ [whisper] plus the money he was stealin wasnt really earned/ what you say? i said hes done wit crime, lesson learned/ he said call us if you need us son, the numbas 911/ i said ya whateva pig, heres a donut yum yum/ what you say? i said of course officer, ill dial 911/ prank call of course, ill do it for some fun/ what you say? is said i think i see a crime across the street/ theirs two pigs in the donut shop, wit nothin to eat/ he said son thats it, im haulin you downtown/ i said please dont sir, i didnt mean to clown/ ill jus walk away wit my boys nd stay outa trouble/ c'mon man, lets go turn some old mans house to rubble/ hey kid, i heard that, thats ya 2nd offense/ i said i apologize officer, thats not what i meant/ ok boy, then be on ya way/ i flippped him off and said goodbye, have nice day/ thats strike three, son ya comin wit me/ i started sprayin my gat, and said come git me/
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crhyme sindicate . . . . . |
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Champion
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IP: 92E6 7769
Hahahaha, this was jokes man, good stuff, return the favour on my "help me lord" OM
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Do Re Mi
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IP: F974 6254
thanks for tha props man, uppin for more feed, and dont take this too seriously people its jus a joke thing haha
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crhyme sindicate . . . . . |
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a.k.a prozak
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IP: CFFD F596
good story tellin....u got some talent but what will really make u good is if you use more complex words dawg....ur rhymin "boot" with "shoot"........now if u want ta really sound good try ur best ta use as much complex multi's that rhyme as much as possible.......for example " im gettin so well known that i cant become hesitant ta become president even if i cant rap without the press in it" i just made sumthin up ta show ya what i meant...now that's better than sayin " i use rap ta get through all this crap"...otherwise this open mic probally would be a lower score but since u were really good at story tellin that shit helped ya a little...so i'll give this shit a 6/10....try not ta be as basic next time...peez
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Middle Weight
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IP: CF74 5D3A
it was good but way to simple need to elevate for real but good story telling doe got your point across
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this time, lets just pretend ur as good as me...
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IP: 928B 1485
that was kinda funny still..good story telling skills...
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DAYUM!!.....................DAMN!!................ .........did I say damn? ![]() im just that gangsta... |
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Do Re Mi
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IP: F974 6254
thanks for the feed peeps. it wasnt meant to be complx i was usin slick rick as an inspiration and yall know how simple his rhymes is... peaCe.1
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crhyme sindicate . . . . . |
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Banned: Biting
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IP: 28AD 5545
hey yo, good shit i really like how u used slick rick, thats some good story tellin as everyone else said but u could elavate and make it much better rookie u know better than to use simple vocab....keep rappin u gunna get better......this shit is hotter than the sun in the summer time.....lol j/p nice shit mayne keep writen
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IP: 0AE0 3B1A
Drop a link so you can get more feed on this or this will be closed
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The Competition
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WhoAreYou?
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IP: A181 D033
Dis OM piece gave me pure jokes just now. I like da story. It was kinda simple but i guess dat was so that we followed the story instead of focusin too much on anything else.
Yo gimme some feedback on some of my shit: "Message 2 U Weak Niggaz" "Bad Trip Dream" |
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a.k.a prozak
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IP: 8E7F 1337
Quote:
lol..Slick Rick aint that good of an inspiration..no offense but in my opinion he's too wack that why u can only hear him through old school... |
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BeAnToWN rEp
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IP: 28AD 5545
ayyo...its da knyte...waddup kid...havent talk to u in a minute...nice shit...funny...it made me giggle...lol.....b-lib out
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Middle Weight
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IP: CF74 5D3A
peep this for me(http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=193155) please
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Just searching.
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IP: D7AC CF0D
That's strange. I said the title in my head, as when I saw it first it cut off. I knew it'd be something like 'they don't know' at the end...don't be so predictable, dog.
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Do Re Mi
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IP: F974 6254
uppin for some more feed kid.. one.love to those who feelin this .. peaCe1
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crhyme sindicate . . . . . |
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