uppin this lets get sum more votes aight close this

__________________

i kno its late but im uppin still for more votes cmon pplz

n when is that crew vote gon get handled if not settled soon i will have to report aight so get that fixed

__________________

^ You don't have to report anything man, check the battle forum problems, I posted in there right after I did it... It was a mistake, strobe will get to it..

......................nixe man............................
r came hard too.

__________________

Daubs MySpace

Uppin This Muphucka For Some Vizotes..

Bitches..

~R~

checkin battle..........

__________________

uppin this lets get votes cmon

__________________

Upping for you two................................

Voted For: R-Rated

Alright.. This took me a shit load of time to read..

But, both of your raps was pretty good..

Here's what I got out of it,

R-Rated
Even though it seems like your lines are a little stretched, there was quite a bit of inner rhyming which kept the flow on target throughout the peice. The inner rhyming is what continually kept me paying attention, because it brought something else to the table. Other then that, the way you went about the topic was not what I would have expected. That is a good thing. I liked the creativity and how you carried the peice. There was some good imagery and the emotion, mostly right in the middle, was nice as well. It was an interesting and good read.

Pen N' Paper
Your lines were a tad stretched. This could have easily been fine with some more inner rhyming, but throughout a lot of your peice, you didnt have any which threw off the flow a little bit. The way you went about the topic was kind of expected. I used to write topicals like that, but you have to get away from the whole "it was just a dream, though not really" type of stuff. Other then that, the imagery was pretty good. You kept a picture of what would have been happening going, but your peice lacked emotion. You didnt keep me interested in that sense. Overall, your verse could have used some work, but it was still pretty good.

Overall
R-Rated executed his style better by using the inner rhyming. He also had the better flow, because Pen N' Paper stretched his lines without holding anything in between. R-Rated went about the topic in a more creative way and executed it nicely. Both of them had pretty good imagery to go along with their story lines, but R-Rated had way better emotion to compliment his. Basing off of all of that, R-Rated had the better topical verse.

Vote - R-Rated

Hit up the link in my sig please.

ok thnx for ur feed really appreciate it
cmon pplz stop sleepin and leave some votes on this dammit...lol

__________________

okey dokie pen is here need some to get his closed 4real

__________________

cmon uppin this man ok lets get this closed finally aight

__________________

uppin this battle cmon need votes pplz votes

__________________