1 fuckin vote and dis shit been up 4 like 3 weeks

__________________
"Wordz Ahgod has DECLINED this battle on 12-20-06 09:49 PM.

This thread has been automatically closed."

^^he's scared.lol

it's only been 3 days, the votes will come.

__________________


"I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..."
-Konchance

my poetry:
untitled

Voted For: MaRVJay1009

dis kid is a fag...i dare u 2 talk shit while im grippin da mag.
nah i aint "workin at a lay's factory" but ima put "chip in a bag"
8...good nameplay and nice internals in set-up...
rap skill you missin it badd...who u killin with ya borin raps????.
you a ex hooker dat use "bend ova 4 bucs" like "warren sapp".
6....nice wordplay in punch..set-up was bland tho...
ya bar's suck n ya flows missin,fam u'll neva go gold spittin.
u hand out ya cd 2 dj's but like "hard headed kids" they "dont listen"
4...weaker than the rest of them,.
ya mother gon be my next freak,quit it nigga ya text week!...
dis like when "j.kidd & vince fight" all he want is "NET beef".
7....nice wordplay
dont say ya ass is bout it..you should be da last da shout it..
only time dj's a "play ya record" is when they talkin badd out it
6....good
u dont even have a record but me im da 1 many-envy-spittin
be4 you came 2 RV da "site was good" like "20/20 vision".......
4..one ur weaker bars..but still good

Good spit here.Structure was good.Had some internals and shit that helped flow a lot.I though some lines like the warren sapp one could been better with a more decent set-up line.But overall...good spit with the sick wordplay.

tryn'a get this battle goin, 3rd time iz the charm,
u shoulda ducked, it woulda saved u from me twistin your arm,
2....this wasn't a punch..no dissing
and hurtin your feelins and bruisin your pride,
by the time i'm finished wit u, u'll wish u had died,
2...some shit....no dissing..u talkin gangsta which is stupuid here
your whole fam iz weak, and y'all flowz iz whack,
how bout the 3 battles y'all didn't accept, remember that,
4...finnaly a punch...but it was a lil weak..
now u battlin the hottest, sick wit the 'fiya', it's no surprise,
lady's nice but i'm not so i'll dick her in the eye lyrically,
3...ur not rhyming now!?!?..and you ain't got the punches
u ain't hearin me so i'll jump on your chest,
and c-walk wit no rhythm cuz i'm 'SO, SO DEF'
1.....stop shit talkin about urself and diss
and 'GOOD', yo i come wit the RAWKUS,
empty the stash pull fast and i smash on u fuckaz
^^3.....no...

Man..U had an ite flow throughout the verse.Basic rhyme scheme ..but still ite.But the main problem..self glorifing.1st bar..2nd bar...and some others..you were self glorifing.And that lady line didn't even rhyme.

Vote-MarvJ...
RTF BELOW
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=206352

the comma isn't nessecarily the end of a bar.............. and only personal he had on me was the one about my mom cuz she dead...... it's on my profile...... thanx for the feed i guess

__________________


"I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..."
-Konchance

my poetry:
untitled

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupppppppppppppppppppppppppppiiii iiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

__________________
"Wordz Ahgod has DECLINED this battle on 12-20-06 09:49 PM.

This thread has been automatically closed."

^^he's scared.lol

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuppppppppppppppppiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii innnnnnnnnnnnnn

__________________
"Wordz Ahgod has DECLINED this battle on 12-20-06 09:49 PM.

This thread has been automatically closed."

^^he's scared.lol

lol at the net beef line...........................

Voted For: MaRVJay1009

CHIPS BREAKDOWN:

tryn'a get this battle goin, 3rd time iz the charm,
u shoulda ducked, it woulda saved u from me twistin your arm,
um, nah wtf was that?? (0/10)
and hurtin your feelins and bruisin your pride,
by the time i'm finished wit u, u'll wish u had died,
blah (2/10)
your whole fam iz weak, and y'all flowz iz whack,
how bout the 3 battles y'all didn't accept, remember that,
no no no (1/10)
now u battlin the hottest, sick wit the 'fiya', it's no surprise,
lady's nice but i'm not so i'll dick her in the eye lyrically,
didnt rhyme (0/10)
u ain't hearin me so i'll jump on your chest,
and c-walk wit no rhythm cuz i'm 'SO, SO DEF'
blah self glorification (1/10)
and 'GOOD', yo i come wit the RAWKUS,
empty the stash pull fast and i smash on u fuckaz.
horrible finisher...(1/10)

i aint even addin it up lol u already know its low as fuck, but ya punches (only one) wasnt strong at all, ya personals were blah and ya whole flow was fucked up especially in da middle...nothin rhymed well


MARVJAYS BREAKDOWN:

dis kid is a fag...i dare u 2 talk shit while im grippin da mag.
nah i aint "workin at a lay's factory" but ima put "chip in a bag".
kinda weak but nice nameplay (5/10)
rap skill you missin it badd...who u killin with ya borin raps????.
you a ex hooker dat use "bend ova 4 bucs" like "warren sapp".
lmaoooo good humor (7/10)
ya bar's suck n ya flows missin,fam u'll neva go gold spittin.
u hand out ya cd 2 dj's but like "hard headed kids" they "dont listen".
played coulda worded it betta (5/10
ya mother gon be my next freak,quit it nigga ya text week!...
dis like when "j.kidd & vince fight" all he want is "NET beef".
nice (7/10)
dont say ya ass is bout it..you should be da last da shout it..
only time dj's a "play ya record" is when they talkin badd out it
did u mean bad mouth it?? if so....(7/10)
u dont even have a record but me im da 1 many-envy-spittin
be4 you came 2 RV da "site was good" like "20/20 vision".......
aha nice close (6/10)

you had much more punches, few played lines that coulda been worded betta but ya shit was really a battle verse unlike chips shit

multz marv
punches marv
flow marv
personals marv
structure marv
humor marv

OVERALL - MarvJay1009


ez win....rtf links in sig

__________________

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuupppppppppppppppppppppiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnn

__________________
"Wordz Ahgod has DECLINED this battle on 12-20-06 09:49 PM.

This thread has been automatically closed."

^^he's scared.lol

I can't vote, but good spit. Marv, did you just register at rb? Holla...

Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuppppppppppppppppppppppppppppiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnn

__________________
"Wordz Ahgod has DECLINED this battle on 12-20-06 09:49 PM.

This thread has been automatically closed."

^^he's scared.lol

Voted For: MaRVJay1009

tryn'a get this battle goin, 3rd time iz the charm,
u shoulda ducked, it woulda saved u from me twistin your arm,
^^^No....Weak opener
and hurtin your feelins and bruisin your pride,
by the time i'm finished wit u, u'll wish u had died,
^^^No punch....or diss
your whole fam iz weak, and y'all flowz iz whack,
how bout the 3 battles y'all didn't accept, remember that,
^^^Ight personal...nuthin really
now u battlin the hottest, sick wit the 'fiya', it's no surprise,
lady's nice but i'm not so i'll dick her in the eye lyrically,
^^^didnt even rhyme
u ain't hearin me so i'll jump on your chest,
and c-walk wit no rhythm cuz i'm 'SO, SO DEF'
^^^WEak NO
and 'GOOD', yo i come wit the RAWKUS,
empty the stash pull fast and i smash on u fuckaz.
^^^Didnt even diss him

dis kid is a fag...i dare u 2 talk shit while im grippin da mag.
nah i aint "workin at a lay's factory" but ima put "chip in a bag".
^^^Nice opener wit the personal
rap skill you missin it badd...who u killin with ya borin raps????.
you a ex hooker dat use "bend ova 4 bucs" like "warren sapp".
^^^Hot line
ya bar's suck n ya flows missin,fam u'll neva go gold spittin.
u hand out ya cd 2 dj's but like "hard headed kids" they "dont listen".
^^^^IGht nuthin special
ya mother gon be my next freak,quit it nigga ya text week!...
dis like when "j.kidd & vince fight" all he want is "NET beef".
^^^Hot Nice punch....worded good
dont say ya ass is bout it..you should be da last da shout it..
only time dj's a "play ya record" is when they talkin badd out it
^^^ight Line....
u dont even have a record but me im da 1 many-envy-spittin
be4 you came 2 RV da "site was good" like "20/20 vision".......
^^^HOt CLoser....
V/Marvjay1009....this was a one sided battle marv murdered chip.....no hate but chip u need to elevate work on ur diss's an punchs wit personals......but marv gets this......RTF or this will get removed...1

__________________

upppppppppppppppiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnn nnn

__________________
"Wordz Ahgod has DECLINED this battle on 12-20-06 09:49 PM.

This thread has been automatically closed."

^^he's scared.lol

^wtf.......... rtf or this will get removed............. i know u ain't PM'n for votes.......... ah well don't matter anyway....... u got me on this one...........

__________________


"I don't want to be deep... I want to feel deep and use that feeling to express depth itself..."
-Konchance

my poetry:
untitled