LUMBERJACK and BLUNT ED

Cat’s gone loco like a bad cup of cocoa pour it in the sink
Never adore a stink verse I’m a moderator wearing pink mink
Some of these cats’ dome corrupt, pride misled like getting up
On the wrong side of bed not a good day junk threatening my luck
Look my medical forces are like technical courses heal the sick
And deal quick with wackiness these cat tactless and can’t politic
Here rapping with LUMBERJACK just to thunder facts most
These cats blunder whack with an under act and weak posts
Verses tall and bright galore like an all night drug store
Take pills to get fake thrills get higher than the moon and soar
Like eagles hardcore and legal come before feeble minds my name Larry
To Flow strong by choice with a prolonged voice like Mariah Carrey
Make a loud sound so proud and renowned girl love your fiyah lets marry
This tune’s a smash cause a boom and crash like thunder
Look I’m writing quotes with lightning bolts and no blunder
Heads get floored over bed and board must pay rent I wonder
My crew shook like new books so we need autographs got to sign
My name even to the blind and lame so our rap craft is aligned
And designed to rock-a-brain you can ask LUMBERJACK the elite
So you dude thunder back and complete we on a streak of bliss and unique
What they thinking so LUMBERJACK start linking these dudes
Yeah BLUNT ED I hunt bread Like MARY JANE this stuff feuds

Hmm..


Aight, I'll talk to my nigga about this and see if it stays opened.

you need some work, kiddo.

first off - your flow sucks and gets thrown of due to lack of at least basic multies.. this also makes the drop more enjoyable as a whole to read.

second off - your entire rhyme scheme seems elementary to me... either that, or just kinda whack.. wording is shitty, and usually the punch or meta is equally as such.. try some more complexity in your wording, i don't mean just huge words and bullshit... but try to interest us, and make us want to read more as we continue.

keep it up,

uno.