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Old 05-28-06, 12:46 AM   #16
Indeph
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Pretty much exactly what Q said. How many times must you touch the stove before you realise its hot?
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Old 05-28-06, 12:47 AM   #17
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If someone fucks me over, I'll be mad and not talk to them. Eventually, I'll calm down about the situation and know that they acted a certain way for a reason, I'll come to them and tell them wassup with me and if they still don't wanna be cool, then they aren't flexible and understanding enough to be my friend in the first place. But if you hate someone, you shouldn't be talking to them. That's like me chillin with Satan worshippers and not saying anything about how I don't like them at all or what they do;the concept of forgiveness requires communication about problems.
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Old 05-28-06, 12:49 AM   #18
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That's another way to look at it. I prefer the other way. Is that ok with you?
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Old 05-28-06, 12:51 AM   #19
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Originally Posted by Tha Q.
Well, Jesus said if we forgive other people, God will forgive us. But, if we don't forgive other people, neither will God forgive us. It's not that people "deserve" forgiveness, but we ourselves deserve to cut the chain of illwill that links us to a hostile event in time. We owe it to ourselves to forgive people so that we can move on.

I don't have a hard time forgiving someone. But, once someone crosses me, I'm pretty much done with them. I feel like this. How many times will I give someone the opportunity to do the same thing to me? Nah...

God is definitely more graceful than we are.

That just means that we need to try and be better people instead of accepting the fact that we're humans and just can't do everything. Feel me?
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Old 05-28-06, 12:52 AM   #20
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Originally Posted by Indeph
That's another way to look at it. I prefer the other way. Is that ok with you?

Everything's ok with me, that's why I asked. I'm not trying to force my ideas on others, I'm just communicating them.
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Old 05-28-06, 12:53 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Logic.
If someone fucks me over, I'll be mad and not talk to them. Eventually, I'll calm down about the situation and know that they acted a certain way for a reason, I'll come to them and tell them wassup with me and if they still don't wanna be cool, then they aren't flexible and understanding enough to be my friend in the first place. But if you hate someone, you shouldn't be talking to them. That's like me chillin with Satan worshippers and not saying anything about how I don't like them at all or what they do;the concept of forgiveness requires communication about problems.



Yea...you def. have to look at people's motives and intent...However, even after forgiving someone, it's probably best to "unplug" from them and move on because they are toxic to you.

Example: Mad Dog

This guy would IM me out the blue and want to have a conversation. I was cool with that. But, I noticed that the way he acted on AIM wasn't the way he was acting towards me on RV.

On AIM, he'd tell me about his life, etc. And, I would be considerate and listen to him. Then, I'd come on RV and see where he was basically trying to clown me in a thread over something that had nothing to do with the AIm convo.

After confronting him on AIM about it, he basically took on an unapologetic tone. So, I said, "fugg off."

Then, he went on the attack, suggesting that I'm a pedophile, and all these other derogatory things.

^^^Now, as a Christian, I forgive him for lashing out like that. But, I'm DONE with Mad Dog. I'd be a fool to continue to talk with him as if nothing is wrong. But, as strange as that is, he would, if I allowed it, AIM me again as if nothing is wrong with calling me a pedophile and trying to humiliate me on RV.

It's about self respect. People do to you what you allow. And, I choose not to deal with people like Mad Dog because they are vindictive and spiteful. I forgive him. But, I'm done with him, PERMANENTLY.
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Old 05-28-06, 01:14 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tha Q.
Yea...you def. have to look at people's motives and intent...However, even after forgiving someone, it's probably best to "unplug" from them and move on because they are toxic to you.

Example: Mad Dog

This guy would IM me out the blue and want to have a conversation. I was cool with that. But, I noticed that the way he acted on AIM wasn't the way he was acting towards me on RV.

On AIM, he'd tell me about his life, etc. And, I would be considerate and listen to him. Then, I'd come on RV and see where he was basically trying to clown me in a thread over something that had nothing to do with the AIm convo.

After confronting him on AIM about it, he basically took on an unapologetic tone. So, I said, "fugg off."

Then, he went on the attack, suggesting that I'm a pedophile, and all these other derogatory things.

^^^Now, as a Christian, I forgive him for lashing out like that. But, I'm DONE with Mad Dog. I'd be a fool to continue to talk with him as if nothing is wrong. But, as strange as that is, he would, if I allowed it, AIM me again as if nothing is wrong with calling me a pedophile and trying to humiliate me on RV.

It's about self respect. People do to you what you allow. And, I choose not to deal with people like Mad Dog because they are vindictive and spiteful. I forgive him. But, I'm done with him, PERMANENTLY.

I'm not saying just straight out forgive dude, but if it were me, I wouldn't associate with him for a long ass time. Eventually I wouldn't be mad about it anymore, at least like I was, and if we eventually started talking again, cool. I might try talking to him again and if he was still trippin, fuck him till the next time I'm not so mad.

For example, about 6 months ago I got into an argument with this girl across the street and she said some shit about me and I said some shit about her. But as of about 2 months ago, I wasn't really trippin anymore. If she wants to talk to me I won't trip, if she doesn't I might try to talk to her sometime and see if we can be cool and eventually mend whatever wounds we have in a friendship.

I don't just forgive them straight out, even if they ask for forgiveness, but eventually damn near everything to me can be mended. *shrugs*
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Old 05-28-06, 11:26 AM   #23
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Who am I to forgive anyone? Do people even need my forgiveness? If they do something bad to me, that's their choice. My belief is that nothing anybody could possibly do should affect me at all. That belief is true, but the difficult part is keeping it in practice. Sure, its easy for little things... But lying, cheating, murder I can imagine would make it a lot harder.
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Old 05-28-06, 11:29 AM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Terumoto
Who am I to forgive anyone? Do people even need my forgiveness? If they do something bad to me, that's their choice. My belief is that nothing anybody could possibly do should affect me at all. That belief is true, but the difficult part is keeping it in practice. Sure, its easy for little things... But lying, cheating, murder I can imagine would make it a lot harder.




I think you're being a tad dishonest here bro. So, I am to believe that NOTHING ever causes you feelings of illwill toward someone? I venture to say that it can and will. Someone just hasn't pushed that right button, or crossed that right line, yet. And, forgiving them is a matter of releasing yourself from those feelings of spite. Also, if someone asks for your forgiveness, it gives them closure on the wrong doing as well when you do forgive them. It's selfish to not forgive someone, especially since we all hurt other people in one form, shape, or another.


Forgive means to LET IT GO, to not hold something against someone anymore. If you do that in your own way, then, you are still forgiving them.

Also, the true test to see if you've fully forgiven someone is to think about them, and then examine your feelings. If you still get angry when thinking about it or them, you haven't fully forgiven them and harbor hate in your heart. Hate will kill you bro.



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Old 05-28-06, 05:44 PM   #25
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But I dont need to forgive them if I dont think what they have done is wrong.
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