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Old 03-07-03, 09:54 PM   #1
unkorruptable
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what his eyes shouldn't see

IP: 56A7 4BAE

thoughts runnin thru my mind//blind when i should see//how good things could be//all i see is the pain and fear//and how my mama cries the bitter tears//my son's shrill screams pierce//the lonely silence//errupted violence//in the night air//seeing all when he shouldn't be there
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Old 03-08-03, 01:55 PM   #2
X Ecution
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wow short but very insightful i liked it showed lots of depth and emmotion...if this was a piece on personal experiance im sorry for it yet the way you made it so poetic was very nice props holla bak 1
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Old 03-08-03, 02:09 PM   #3
unkorruptable
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thanks...i just want my thoughts seen...
peace
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Old 03-10-03, 06:23 PM   #4
varentao
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*As he sits on the street bench amid the fallen night, he see's a crisp packet caught in the wind drift by*...

...seriously, i felt this was such a good piece...

...it had such an air of simplicity to it...yet a smooth, dark, flowing depth...with a hint of complexity...

....i think the top part says enough about the piece from me....

...respect...
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Old 03-11-03, 09:23 AM   #5
unkorruptable
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it's nice to know people feel me and what i'm tryin to say...sometimes i think my stuff is too emotionally charged and personal for others to understand....

peace
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