although i was never a fan of your views/
i was quite amazed when i saw you after the evening news/
outlining your budget/ your battle plan/
trying to rally as many troops as you can/
be a volunteer/ yes that's it/
but how can we tame the dogs of others/
when we won't clean up our own shit/
it stinks/ just like pissy pj hallways around chi-town/
feeding our neighborhoods with drugs & guns to try to keep us down/
look in the mirror/ who do you see?/
you try to control the masses subliminally/
through tv, news, radio, & print/
every four years a recession/ when we have 12 u.s. mints?/
it doesn't add up/ just like those missing votes/
yes 9/11 was tragic/ fuckin with bun laden & hussein/
you & your daddy done provoked armogeddon/
world war 3 possibly/
to distract us from seeing what u don't want us to see/
spending billions of dollars on plans, ships, & guns/
while you take away programs to educate & feed the young/ dipping in everyone else's affairs you couldn't leave well enough alone/ that's why they come for you g.b./ attacked you on your soil/ in your own home/ got us walking around like shook ones/
scared to take a flight/ that's what you get for busting up the sanction/ plus you didn't treat Mother Africa right/
join your cause/ kiss my ass/
fight for red-white-& blue/
naw-i think i'll pass/ cause the only thing america ever gave me/
was a history filled with slavery-hate-& poverty/ jion your cause B.U.S.H./ kiss my grits/
cause me & my peoples are fed up to here/
now we're not going to take much more of this shit/
the only thing america ever did for us/ was take prayer out of schools & make money our trust/ our war is not overseas/
it starts right here at home/
to free our expression- our pockets-our dome/
by George/ i think i've got it now/
true compassion is taking a vow/
to always be faithful-just-& true/
not only when you're in the spotlight/ seeking praise for what you do/
sacrifing hundreds of lives to ensure/
that your 4 years in the white house would endure/
you need to step down if you don't know what to do/
cause white is stained bloody red/ & we're left is feeling blue/
while the government running amok/ like they ain't got a clue/
seeking to find answers to why the u.s. is what its become/
take a look in the mirror Mr. President & reflect on what you've
DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!

__________________
Illuminating Dark Places In Your Mind
~P.oetic I.ntelligence~
Blaqmoon
Brownsun



www.underlinedmagazine.com

chi-town

The vocab was quite simple, but fairly effective..even though i felt at times it didn't complement the structure...

...but the message was strong, and overall was depicted well...imagery was at times off in this piece...especially considering the length of it...

...but i could see it was kind of from the heart....raw-ish...and overall went down well...

..respect...

True indeed.

the only thing america ever did for us/ was take prayer out of schools & make money our trust/

The worst thing that erodes a society is seperation of church and state. God should be the center of government and everything else in our lives. Why they hate contries like Afghanistan, and Iraq, and Iran is because they refuse to do this. PROOF? Afghanistan is now a democracy. When they were under the Taliban they had established God's Law. They had peace, and law and order. No prostitutes, bars or clubs. Now their women sell themselves cheap, they are drunk in the streets but they are free--to do what they want, even if it's nasty. A good leader will take what is bad for the people and remove it far away from them...and bring what is good for them close to them. Every where America enters with their democracy their societies fall morally. Any body who is nasty want all the others who are good to be nasty so they don't have a mirror to see really how nasty they are. Proof? How is a black man/woman Christian when the people who inslaved black people christian? They steal you, rape you, murder you , enslave you...and then the hand you the bible and say this is the book we follow. It didn't do no better for you so how could it be good for me? But the did this to make you like them, Nasty. Look at the results in society. They had whores, now we have whores. They were violent , now we are violent.
We are a mirror of them. The only way to change it is look for God.

respect for comments/
to my fellow poet T.L.D./
i feel as if we were saparted at birth/
although i have one thing to comment on/
not all blacks r nasty/
every man/women chooses his/her own path.
BE PEACEFUL

__________________
Illuminating Dark Places In Your Mind
~P.oetic I.ntelligence~
Blaqmoon
Brownsun



www.underlinedmagazine.com

chi-town

ay, i liked this... maybe cuz it was simple... i dont know, but it worked. for some reason, i liked this line:

cause white is stained bloody red/ & we're left is feeling blue/

it was jus cool~ but overall, it was nice, and i could feel what u were sayin-

i felt were you com'n from on this piece... simple vocab and structure...

overall this wasn't that bad...nice drop...............

........1