Yo I lost all my passion when you told me you ain't love me,
I didn't cry at the time cuz I ain't realize you wouldn't hug me,
but them minutes later *boom* the impact distracts young minds,
and in fact, that facts, reveal a situation that's one-of-a-kind,
the white man's fire water has done you wrong, yet you realize this not,
but you continue to make me empty promises, saying this will stop,
this shit is not, somethin to dibber-dabber around in,
you talkin uncontrollably without hearin your sounds man,

now time has passed and my emotion gone with it,
voice so devoid of life, that it shatters those who witness,
now my walk has slowed to paces, shoe untied with laces,
it's a dismal sight to see as I encode smiles on faces,
cuz my life is wasted, and yours is coming to an end,
if you ask me what was the worst thing you did, I could never even begin

Okay, even though this was probably from the heart and close to you...

...and i could feel someof the emotions being depicted, they were most def apparent on occasions....

..but overall felt this piece was a bit too over elaborate, it's a topic that can at times seem 'played'...and even though you tried to tackle it in a personal and slightly original way, i felt it just quite didn't come off....

..still, had it's moments...

...respect...

it was more of a rap.. I could rap it anyway.. it was alright, why do people write rhymes about bitches who dump them... nice wording, I did feel tha emotion

__________________

What tha Hell? Am I missing something? Are you letting off steam?
Thats all I got to say!

Actually this has nothin to do with my girl, she's fyne see^?
but I didn't like they way I composed my last two, my better stuff got overlooked and is probly on the next page, so I wondered if a style change would help..... answer- nah....

I'm not even a poet tho, but it don't matter, I will make myself one....

well ..simple...but nice...keeponit

HEAD UP!

__________________
<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>