a yo i guess people didnt like my last ryhme
but now im gonna tell u bout this mountain i gotta climb, i been raised rough and not treated well, i been shot in the chest , and yo i've lived 2 tell. then people say i got a bad tude, but theyed take that back if they knew what i been through. shit i sit here and cry as we go bankrupt, my head is like a volcano and im about 2 erupt.my whole damn life has been on a bumpy trail, there aint no prince charmin so fuck ur fairy tails.sometimes i wanna give up, and not fight this fight, cause people talk shit, cause my skin is white, no man has seen, what my eyes see,and the man im bein, no man will be.damn, somtimes life is just straight up mean, tryin 2 support a family, and im fuckin fourteen,
well, i hope u like this, better then my last one,exuse me for a second while i go feed my son..........

??? i cant judge that

now thats better kid.......still alot of improvement to be done.....but atleast u tryin to be more real wit shit now...peace

why do i have this feelin that u've never been shot in the chest and lived to tell..

write what you live..not fantasy or wats on tv

word of advice: don't be so stuck on wat color u are...

its aight
really tough to follow tho
work on the structure of ur rhymes
no one cares that ur white
I bet that more then half the heads on
this site are white, if not more
u put ur heart into it tho
and thats what is gonna let u elevate
keep at it

PS check out my "7 deadly rap"
thx

thas wat im sayin!

a yo effervescent i tell alot a lies and talk alot a shit, but i have been shot 2 times, look if i sound like some gay ass 50 cent then
im sorry, its my life, and shit happens. everyone else,thx 4 writin,

soilder22