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Old 04-16-03, 03:08 PM   #1
shorty0069
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Growing Pains

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A voice, a vision, a spark, a flame..

Now it's time to look beyond the blame..

I've opened the door, and faith stepped in..

Finally I'm ready for my life to begin..

Not as it was, or how I thought it should be..

But with my past and future, emerged authentically..

Beyond the silence, the Shame, and the fear..

I've grown through the pain, that brought me here..

I'm learning to live, with both laughter and tears..

And to trust myself, as well as my peers..

Learning to feel, to love, to guide..

I know I am not damaged, and have no reason to hide..

Although I still struggle daily to survive, I'm finally happy to be alive..

Last edited by shorty0069 : 04-18-03 at 07:33 PM.
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Old 04-16-03, 03:37 PM   #2
Pr0phecy
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i like it yo...the voice in it was powerful throughout the peice
keep elevatin son
madd props
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Old 04-16-03, 10:30 PM   #3
Calisto
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I was blown away by this I think because you know some one that I do and I didn't think something this powerful could come out of some one who would chill with him... but I loved this, it had a good flow and the vocab was great I really liked it
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Old 04-16-03, 11:04 PM   #4
r&blove4ever
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this stuff was tight and it had a good point

Last edited by r&blove4ever : 04-17-03 at 12:18 PM.
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Old 04-17-03, 12:35 AM   #5
Lyrically InSane
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nice piece keep uppin and check me out
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Old 04-17-03, 02:12 AM   #6
Mental God
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wow, that was really good, you got some talent
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Old 04-17-03, 04:15 AM   #7
Kapone
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ima a lil in th dark, so im jus gunna comment on the poem,

it had poetic value, however, its not my type of poem, thats what u call possed poetry, maybbe its inspired by an event or a person or both, but its possed to look like what todays standards of poetry r, but for that matter, not thinking as myself i give it an 8/10 because a few place a ryhmes scheeme o 2 was offand too long, but im not to judge you
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Old 04-17-03, 02:03 PM   #8
AngelicSheShe
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Good piece. Try to seperate your lines some it makes it easier to read. Nice work though OoNnEe
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Old 04-17-03, 04:10 PM   #9
shiznit
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nice job....short and simple..nice vocabs but like what other said...seperate ur piece by line..cuz it would be more attractive to the reader..its just that when u see a paragraph like this..others would be too lazy to read such a long one so if they are divided by stanzas it would be really much better....but yeh.keep up
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Old 04-17-03, 08:53 PM   #10
J3SUS CHR1ST
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Now it's time to look beyond the blame..I've opened the door..And faith stepped in..Finally I'm ready for my life to begin

Beautiful work..
Dont let anybody tell ya different -wink-
Oneee
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