I wrote this a few weeks ago. Refined it a bit so check it out.


Swallow two tabs of E and go to a rave//
and save yourself from your existence.//
Persistence is the key to be whatever it is you wanna be.//
Take a look at me and you'll believe//
this is what I do. This is who I am.//
Give yourself a hand, pat on the back.//
Attack the plan with the ferocity you see on Animal Planet.// Everybody's born with a clean slate.//
It doesn't get marred till you start to hate//
the people, the government, the entire scene.//
Individuality's not as easy as it seems.//
Live on one path so when you're stuck in a hole//
you can figure out a way to save your soul.//
Without being something you're not.//
Even if it means you'll end up shot.//

that one's better bud... you had a few nice bars, you really gotta work on word play...

Live on one path so when you're stuck in a hole//
you can figure out a way to save your soul.//
^ I liked how that flowed...

yea the only advice I can give you is work on word play, you got a mad vocab, rhyme scheme plays out pretty well, all you gotta do is throw in some mind boggling play on words...

peace 1

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jus to let you know man, you gotta respond to other peoples shit or you ain't gonna get no responses...

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You gotta lot of work to do... it was aight though, for only having that few of posts.