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Old 05-09-03, 11:31 PM   #1
Maven
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My Beautiful One

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*rain falls*

"your sins into me, oh my beautiful one, your sins into me"

All your sins to me,let your love flow through them,
like a river of emotions, can't see what to do, when?/
mixing up potions of hateful fear, and lovingly drinking it all down,
swimming in oceans like amphibians proclaiming their antagonism/
except water is arsenic, poison staining a lace gown, leave me face down,
contact the underworld, Cerberus never heard of us, setting up the schism/
I drink you in, feed off your radiating energetic flow,
I never knew, I'll never know, you leave an atmosphere slug couldn't even show/
what to do with myself you leave me unknowing of destiny,
I've given all I have to you, this fate is all that's left of me/
I'm bereft of me, whats missing is strictly abstract,
It sounds absurd, but there isn't any sentence that could put it into words/
lyrical contortionist, I leave this mirror of instinct cracked,
ripped like an abortionist, I destroy the essence of adjectives and verbs/
Your sins into me they lead me to the mythical place of animosity,
self inflicted basket case, oh my beautiful one, you're lost to me....
------------------------------------------------
I think I might have made up a word or two, but I don't really care. Just trying to let some shit out.
This was inspired by A Fire Inside.
Peace
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Old 05-09-03, 11:36 PM   #2
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swimming in oceans like amphibians proclaiming their antagonism/
except water is arsenic, poison staining a lace gown, leave me face down,
contact the underworld, Cerberus never heard of us, setting up the schism/
I drink you in, feed off your radiating energetic flow,

shit was deep....whateva bothrin you must be bad fo yo to write ill shit like this

yo check ma latest out..called cant take no mo.if ya dont understand it pm me an ill tell ya mor on tha sub
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Old 05-09-03, 11:55 PM   #3
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thanks pledge, It really isn't as bad as I make it seem, maybe thats cuz I just read Sand's piece tho.
up
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Old 05-10-03, 12:43 AM   #4
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nice spit i liked it all i felt the emotion....

Pe@ce 'n' LuV
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Old 05-10-03, 09:25 AM   #5
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uppin
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Old 05-10-03, 09:30 AM   #6
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swimming in oceans like amphibians proclaiming their antagonism

^^^ nice line no doubt,liked that one...

i liked your verse understatment,to me youve got a real nice style...i liked the topic it was on,i like writing shit like this sometimes,but lately ive written kinda stories i dont know why thats all that came out i guess,but no doubt if you ever wanna collab hit meup with a topic like this and ill be down no doubt dun...liked this..
bismillah
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Old 05-10-03, 12:22 PM   #7
Bash
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Tight spit
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Old 05-10-03, 02:59 PM   #8
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"nobody sees tears when you're standing in the storm"-Atmosphere
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Old 05-10-03, 04:16 PM   #9
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stop sleepin
up
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Old 05-10-03, 06:17 PM   #10
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another up!
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Old 05-10-03, 08:12 PM   #11
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Hey Man.
You know I had to peep, just had to...
And well, I wasn't let down.

"mixing up potions of hateful fear, and lovingly drinking it all down," - OoOoOoO Excellent. Just Blazing.

"swimming in oceans like amphibians proclaiming their antagonism/
except water is arsenic, poison staining a lace gown, leave me face down,
"
- That was amazing.

"I never knew, I'll never know, you leave an atmosphere slug couldn't even show/" - lmfao, you atmosphere head. HaHaHa

"lyrical contortionist, I leave this mirror of instinct cracked," - Fucking amazing...and to the first part of the line, you bastard fock!... :P I wrote something like "rhyme contortionist" a while ago in one of my many verses, but never posted it (so obviously didn't bite me...unless your doing it telepathecly!!!! :P )

Very nice dude, never dissapointed, from chat to here, LoL.
Um...I know some people role alone, and thats cool, I'm kinda like that, and thats the great part of WP...So basically, wanna join Word Perfect? I'm asking before I've even consulted with anyone else, but I'm 99.9% sure they'll be more then pleased to have you in. Sand is as well in WP. So... :P LoL.
If you don't want to, thats completely cool, honest. I'll never ask again, and its all good.

Annnyways, Good rhyme, fuck that, excellent rhyme.
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Old 05-11-03, 12:16 AM   #12
Mad Man
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Fuck that, this was out of this world wordplay the whole bit great piece. I loved it and I can't wait to see more.
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Old 05-11-03, 07:16 PM   #13
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thanks Bruk and Mad
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Old 05-12-03, 11:03 AM   #14
Kosta
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All your sins to me,let your love flow through them,
like a river of emotions, can't see what to do, when?/
mixing up potions of hateful fear, and lovingly drinking it all down,
swimming in oceans like amphibians proclaiming their antagonism/
except water is arsenic, poison staining a lace gown, leave me face down,


nice start...flow was so/so..but content
was very nice..sorry i dont have time
to break everything down. but it stayed.
consistent the entire. way. very good job.
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Old 05-12-03, 06:56 PM   #15
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This was ill yo...

the person above me quoted my best lines...

keep doin ya thing bro..

peace
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