yo i know yall aint used to me postin shit like this... but heres something that i wrote up.. its more of a poem

My 5 Flowers

In this box you will find
What you only find in my heart
Five flowers that will never die
and my love for you, that with time, will only multiply

Flower 1:
The day we met
It was a Wednesday Morning
A day in September to be Precise
I felt meaningless
you saw me lonely , you talked to me
and with a smile you made me breathe

Flower 2:
The day we kissed
It was a cold day in the fall, but all we felt was bliss
you looked at me and kissed my lips
I knew from then, my love for you will never slip

Flower 3:
The day we finally hooked up and made it official
SOme liked it, Some didnt,
but never did i let someone diss you
Our hopes to never let go and stay together for a wedding
Our loving days together were just a matter of telling

Flower 4:
The day I told you I loved you
I was certain , cause for something Like this , I dont make mistakes.
you said you loved me too.
If I were to ever hate you, The lord my soul to take.

Flower 5:
The day my reality came to an end
A short dark day in January, some 5 months since I met you
I havent seen you since yesterday, and never will in my living days.
I spent with you the entire day , we talked and laughed like everyday.

You left with your friends, I watched you leave
They asked you questions as if u were a celebrity
and you denied everything, including the way you felt for me
you stabbed me in the heart, you flushed away the memories.
And now my dear, you are dead to me....

I gave you my life,I gave you my all
I still lie heartbroken , you see me everyday, and dont bother to call...
But i cannot change the past with these words Ive said..
These five flowers symbolize my love
and they will never be dead..

nice work dude, you were right, this is more like poetry.

If I were to ever hate you, The lord my soul to take.

wicked line there dude, I wanna see more of this stuff from you.
One

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

if its more of a poem, why isnt it in the poetry section of the board? good concept and pretty good imagery here, but again, this vocab is simplistic and more poetic lie you said.


worth the read though.

it wsa more of a poem but w/e it was kool, i agree wiht understatement lets seee some more of this in here, kept it up.

yer hsoud be a poem,but i still enjoyed reading it,had a good topic and abstract meaning behind the title....i liked it ,the vocab was simple,more of a poem i thought,but it was worth readin gnahmean...

uppin for some more critics.....

STOP SLEEPIN ON THIS SHIT!!!

uppin fo views....

feelin this dunz..i kno its poetry..(but i also know that the poetry section gets slept on)..so i don't blame you for posting this here..

nice imagery, and original story..

overall, a very well done piece..

props//

peace
one

thanx homez.... Dun Sleep on me ppl