Tell me what you think..May it be bad or good...

Suicide (part 2)


Now that he is gone
It's hard for family to move on
They go through old memories
but still they can't see
What made him leave this world
Was it love? or some girl?
They may never know
But there feelings will show
They look through all his stuff
But Looking isnt enough
Untill they find his journal
Knowing it must be personal
They flip through a few pages
Seeing hes had it for ages
At the end was a note
written on a piece of coat
On it, it explained
All of the Pain
That he held deep inside
That he really tried to hide
From the world around him
But his light was growing dim
So he dicided to take his life
But not with a gun or a knife
He wanted all the people to see
What it was like to be
there when he died
and watch him commit suicide

so how long did it take you to write this?!

Followed up on the first piece very well...once again, good use of imagery, flowed well..and the imagination (for what i presume was also done fiarly quickly) was very nice...

...and ended so well...

...seriously, if this is anything to go by, you have a good 'pen'...

...resp....

Thank you!..I didn't time this one actually...but I would guess around 4 or 5 minutes...I just write down what comes to mind...and hopefully people are able to make since of it...

peAce

I liked this one too. Not quite as good as the first part but it was definately good. You left me wondering why he killed himself! :P Make a part 3 for me? lol

I was just imagining how hard it must be for parents to go through something like that with their kid, then have to look through all his old stuff to find out why he did it. Very good content. I liked it a lot. Keep posting more stuff.

I have about 38 poems written in two months time...I wrote this one because Of how my life is..Ive thought about suicide and all..but this helps me to express my feelings in a different way..lol I would make a part 3...but that would kinda drag it out..don't you think? lol

peAce

I'm glad you took your problems and used them to write this good stuff. lol, yeah you're right, don't make a part 3. That would definately be dragging it out.