im physically light headed in this crisis heading from head on
i never meant wrong, but my way with words isn't so head strong
not to mention that im a joker eclipsing a fool's paradise
only thing spanning wide is my humiliation like a tanning hide
this heaven sent creature with spanish eyes should have run
but then stayed to embrace a face only a mother could have loved
she stood above the rest of her peers in mind and appearance
shined with mere thirst that always had me fighting for clearance
access is denied untill i find the keeper asleep on the switch
i dream of wading the mist, i only breathe for this one wish
of encountering this sun's kiss, to make you learn this lesson
from the pits of my raging heart, i have this burning question
but its never to venture the lonely bridle path to your eardrums
i hear one's, it seems cupid upgraded artillery to a spear gun
to give me a change of heart, maybe, but life's a come what may
from the day i lost the reins, this mistress's got me spun what way?
impossible now for me to cut to the chase, im stuck in this race
puffing and blowing on my face, im not going no-where in haste
these emotions are at waste with this female, a devil incarnate
i feel like the drop in the bucket, thats chucked into far space
and bar it from escape, a faint heart never won the fair maiden
have a field day in my pain as i have no-one to spare grace from
lampooning me in excuses, "your useless", throwing my milestones
beyond the point of bygones being bygones, treating me vile dawn
i cant even smile no more, melancholy is my home away from home
i was flown from where hope begins to grow and lakes tend to flow
but that was a no win situation, i feel joy at the 13th heaven
where the truth is unstreched and where working is pleasure
and where lurking depression swallows your own pride for you
i take a shine to this new living where bad luck hides fortune
the meek shall inherrit the earth, yea but not untill the rebirth
the end welcomed me with opened arms and sold me its own t-shirt
railroaded into this red letter day remembered for wrong reasons
im sorry for this unwanted breath, im in my element upon leaving
the point of fleeing made me feel like the upper crust of the lowest
everything i touch is broken, but out here i have much to focus on
im unforgiven in this mystery, so i watch how the clue writes
the odd man out wonders how much he could conduct with two kites
two rights make a behind, not one soul heard my damn swan song
whats wrong? all i wanted to do was go out in a blaze........before im gone

Whoa No Replies....Me Surprised

before we begin............................................. ........................wagwan....lmao.



ohhhhh n-demik new peiceeeeee......
erm yeah now thats over,illg et to ze critique al le frenchy thingozzzz...

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. ....


likee.....nice verse dem...but are you saying your ugly???lmao..im only playin....

thi sverse was excellent,n-demik on some love shit...seems strang ebut im lovin git...cupid upgraded his artillery to a spear-gun...excellnt...very nicelly written....the end sold me a t-shirt...ahha shit had me laughin,but thinkin a tth esame time...the beginign made me smile...the ending made me sad...damn you demik...make up you r mind haha....nah nah it was an excellent verse...i met a girl like that once...but she cheated on me,and i blew her cars up...lmao...living in riyahd you learn a few htings about explosives,shit was fun...but yeah,im gettingoff topic...back to the verse...
beyond th epoitn of bygones....treating me vile dawn...nice nic eline...
were a lurking depression swallows your own pride for you...good imagery there...this heaven sent creature ,with th espanish eyes...very nicely written line...th ewhole peice was well written,but that line...is all you need to explain the person,buetiful spanish eys...that sall you need to picture it...it was so nicely done,at a prfect part of th erhyme,followed by a great line...only a mother could love...almost makes th espanish eyes seem heavenly kinda ina weird way i thought...making it seem like a good hearted person,far from vein,wich is th edownfall of alot of th emore better looking people,swelled egos and obsession for good looks....a faint heart never won h efair maiden...no doubt,he maafucka with the sword that killed th edragons did in most ocassions...i felt like a drop in a bucket,thrown into space...brilliant line.nice imagery,really gets ya...a drop in a bucket is lonely and sad enough,but then in outer space would only duplicate the lonliness and pain of bein gall alone...nice nice line...im in my element before leaving...<good line tha tone...but the cupid artillery spear gun line was excellent,i wont forge ttha tone it was ill...very good descrption of what was felt...anywya i better stop.be three am here...gotta rest my head some...are you goign to be doing this on audio?and f you are are you goign to keep the same voic eon it??prolly but yaknow,it seems so different from the normal type of thing you write,maybe it would be different...anyhow...good verse...very good verse..liked i tmuchly...mucly?...pshh

thanks for posting this,was a decent read for once.

returnt he favour some time

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=50451

i hope thats to my landmines verse...pshh the bar format...haha...
good drop demik...

bismillah

excuse the spellin gmistakes,theres alot fo them,but im seriosuly unable to see my keyboard or screen,i aint slept in two days,pshh.

Not too many replies. I'm confused about that. You usually have a lot of them. Anyways, this was a good post. I liked reading it. Your style of writing is good. The words you use keeps me reading more. Normally I don't read ones that are kind of long unless they are a good writer.

"this heaven sent creature with spanish eyes should have run
but then stayed to embrace a face only a mother could have loved"

I liked those lines. Made me laugh

"i hear one's, it seems cupid upgraded artillery to a spear gun
to give me a change of heart, maybe, but life's a come what may"

That was another part I liked. I could quote so much more but I get carried away with doing that and don't want the response to be so long. Good piece though.

Nice content........Ill wordplay............Ur style is so ill............You aint getting alot of replies , because people usaully sleep on da Tight open mics..................................Up this dawg..........This would be Ill in audio

hmm... first time I've read anything by n-demik

good shit....

came in with pretty high expectations due to your rep but yeah, cat didnt disappoint


anyhow, peep my open mic
its my first and I'd appreciate the feedback

"i never meant wrong, but my way with words isn't so head strong
not to mention that im a joker eclipsing a fool's paradise"


woah!

Whoa That Reply Was Mad Atetrack...LoL..

When I Get Some Good Reading Time..I'll Hit Your Thread Up..

Appreciate All The Replies..

LoL....This Fell To Page 4 In One Day..

tis bad innit...

Tis Indeed

.....

sum real deep shit n-demik...really got me thinkin styll........r u signed up 4 da poetry contes, if not u should b!!!
.........................ill leave it at dat!
1-one-1

Thanks For The Reply Play...

DizOwNinG

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this was the best piece i've seen dropped in open mic on this website so far...the flow was easy to pick up...the wordplay was hot....the mutli's was there...the only thing i didn't like was at the end i think the "greatest" of the whole verse kinda faded out slowly.....the flow started to lack..and the rhyme scheme was hard to read...hmm my favorite line in this would have ta be:

"im physically light headed in this crisis heading from head on
i never meant wrong, but my way with words isn't so head strong"

"this heaven sent creature with spanish eyes should have run
but then stayed to embrace a face only a mother could have loved"

as you can tell some of the first lines.........hmmm i'd say 8-8.5/10