I awake in the same old cold cell, with the same old mold smell, behind the bars of the jail that i have come to know well//
Convinced that their is no hell, if there is then bring on the devil for some show and tell//
Cause i can sell some thoughts of evil and tournament, even before i spent, one day enduring this confined secure stench//
We could sit and reminess a bit, about how it was to get hit, every time your stepdad felt like it//
Or how you witnessed him in his animalistic nature, each time he awakened my sister, then fondeled and raped her//
Maybe it was a mistake to think times would change, when he calmed down and climbed out of his irratate,rage//
Or could it be from the age of 8 till highschool, that Bob thought it was cool to beat me into a pool of blood and drewl//
Who knew what types of an effect total disrespect could do, to a kid with so few positive influences to look to//
Is it possible that the costant redicule, could have subdued my mental aptitude, making it impossible for me to acknowledge any true love or vertue//
Any hoo, i eventually passed the breaking point, by taking the man i called dad's necks and tearing straight from joint//
For every time he slapped my mom i cracked each bone till they snapped into splinters//
Now way passed the jitters i then ventured, over to Bobs house and waited for him to enter//
Undected so the suprise was not expected, swung the bat twice and nicely connected//
Then began to beat him so brutally, in blood and drewl so he knew what it was like for me//
See, that felt so good, but actually, the number of fatalidy's happened to be three//
Two of the bodies are already stripped of breath, while i'm strapped to this seat waiting for the switch of death//
These memories are what flashed within my last second left, now happy in hell while others wept//
After all this i still have no regrets ...and as i am burning i feel blessed, just because i get to look up at my real family sitting on heavens front steps//

QUALITY! damn quality, i don't know what to quote! i liked the irony at the end,
(quote) the number of fatalidy's happened to be three//
Two of the bodies are already stripped of breath, while i'm strapped to this seat waiting for the switch of death//(quote)
very nice wrap up!

"We could sit and reminess a bit, about how it was to get hit, every time your stepdad felt like it//
Or how you witnessed him in his animalistic nature, each time he awakened my sister, then fondeled and raped her//
Maybe it was a mistake to think times would change, when he calmed down and climbed out of his irratate,rage//
Or could it be from the age of 8 till highschool, that Bob thought it was cool to beat me into a pool of blood and drewl//"

This was real. I hate reading about things like this since it makes me feel bad but it happens. You wrote about it well. It was a good piece. Made me think about all the bad things that go on and appreciate what I have. I dunno, this was just a really good writing. I'm glad I read it.

^i agree with those two, not bad for ya 1st open mic

youve been holdin up all this time.......you have got talent man dont hold back! get more open mics on here as soon as

LOL damn i just posted this like 5 minutes ago. Thanx for all tha reply's and comments. Sounds like i got a few fans lol.
21

haha, don't start getting all cocky now jk

Uppin for some more replys^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
21

tight tight shit dawg....so many good lines they covered it...keep that good shit comin

nice ish god,i was feelin it on tha real,good story,good flow,nice way to piece it together.keep postin u got skillz.

phenomenal--------

I see i have much learnin ta do....

my first open mic is under Mystical Minstrel

I'd appreciate any feedback from yall

also some advise from my post's at the frontlines
my first battle

MysticaQuest vs sen(that's me)
seems as though i'm not doin so well------needin much help-
or i'm just in tha wrong Game

peace

Uppin
21

this is good its kind of simple(at times) and some of your lines run on to long it throws off the flow

Uppin for some more feed back on this.
21