Could you love me, with all my flaws and blemishes?
When the novelty wears off, the excitement diminishes?
If I’m bare and true, is this real or will we be finished?

I’m not perfect, with my seduction and mischievous planning.
A self reliant woman, a timid little girl is somehow standing.
She’s fallen for you, are we smooth sailing, or crash landing?

‘Cause I never lived until your eyes, breathed their vitality
Watching my fabricated moves, counteracting with finality
Stepping out of my dreams, incredibly you became a reality

When you make love to me it’s intensity beyond all absolution
You clarify the worlds’ mysteries to me and shatter any confusion
And if this isn’t real, I pray I never recover from this delusion.

I want to be your everything, what you rise in the morning to greet
To have a love with you that’s real and gentle, so true it’s discreet
‘Cause before your kiss, my soul can’t remember feeling so complete

damn baby girl,this shit was ill.i like tha way u put it down,its damn emotional too,keep blessin us wit your deep thoughts,peace out girl.

this one is nice....i liked these lines a lot....very powerful somewhat like the roots of the very poem....i like how u structured it...

nice job..i wanna read some of ur other stuff...

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<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>

You're a good writer. Post more of your stuff up here I like reading it.

This was good. The flow was nice, words used were good, all around it was good.

"Could you love me, with all my flaws and blemishes?
When the novelty wears off, the excitement diminishes?
If I’m bare and true, is this real or will we be finished?"

I really felt those lines. I wonder the same things when I get into relationships. Unfortunately the few that I was in, the novelty did wear off and the excitement diminished.

"‘Cause I never lived until your eyes, breathed their vitality
Watching my fabricated moves, counteracting with finality
Stepping out of my dreams, incredibly you became a reality"

That was another good part that I felt a lot. I'm thinking that stuff about a girl I know right now. Very good writing.

"When you make love to me it’s intensity beyond all absolution
You clarify the worlds’ mysteries to me and shatter any confusion
And if this isn’t real, I pray I never recover from this delusion."

Good stuff right there. I can't apply that to my life but I just liked reading it. The way you worded it kept me reading more.

"I want to be your everything, what you rise in the morning to greet
To have a love with you that’s real and gentle, so true it’s discreet
‘Cause before your kiss, my soul can’t remember feeling so complete"

I like reading stuff like this and being able to see those things in my life. Those right there I saw. It made the writing better when reading it. I really liked this. Hopefully you post some more stuff on here

thank you... I kinda got the impression that people felt like I was a newby but I'm not I've been here for over a year I just haven't been that active in this forum because I've had a touch of "writter's block"... but thank y'all sooo much, it makes me feel really good that I can get 3 replies in such a short amount of time... peace

A year, huh? Pft, I've been here for.... three... damn, I've wasted my life.

But this isn't about me. This is about you wondering if I still could love you. But I don't remember doing any of those things you talked about in your poem so... you must be talking about another guy. Damn.

Anyway, this was still a great peice. Even if it wasn't to me.

~Shalom~

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.

ill shit right here

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I liked it alot, I look foreward to reading more and more of ya things that post up here good job.