i take a step out the door wit questions in mind:
heads inclined to past memories i left behind in mine:
refusin to rewind inside and shape things as they were:
i dont remember as they were cuz my past is now a blur:
shape shift in progress wit an outcome bound to be flawless:
bound to drop ur jaws n not be able to comprehend u saw this:
i know death is upon us, casually walkin round the corner:
but death is a loner he aint gonna bug me until i'm older:
sometimes you realize what you have doesnt count for much:
until the object you touch is and will be ina continuous clutch:
my dawg told me not to rush, take things slow, as they come:
so i thank him much, let things flow, let the course run:
now i know the sun sets and days pass wit a tick right by:
and i know the fact that some days i'll smile some I'd cry:
Jus as long as i keep reachin for my prize and not back down:
movin to the beat of the words out my mouth till i rest now:

i'm new here .. no newbi at writin tho ... lemme get some feedback from ya'll .. much preciated

like it man. Nice shit good expressions.

Check mine.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=57236

^ iight coo

uppin

damn ... ya'll mad sleep on nooB's here huh .....uppz

yeah most do..but i like reading new-b shit..most of it sux lol..not this tho i liked this deep drop a lot...lots of emotion behind it...

return the favor for my drop "Incomplete"

^^^ uppin

uppppppppppppppin

This was a ill to the point piece, i didnt see one filler...thats a plus...bangin...keep spittin i got my eye on you.

^^ no doubt man .. i appreciate the feedback .... if u wanna collab sometime holla


uppin

I thought this was good from the begining to end
1one

^ thanx mayne


uppin

uppin

great work m8, good vocab, ncie deep subject matter, good flow nice rhymes maybe a little more wordplay needed, still a dope piece tho man keep writing

eborted verdict- B

return the favour at http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=57908

uppin