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Old 06-18-03, 01:30 AM   #1
Solid Witz
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Mountains To Overcome

IP: 0BA5 A800

In a childs life there are many things they must overcome, to become reconized or respected. Attention is what is needed most when your young, and you have to climb mountains to get it..

In The Begining
Children Must Overcome Many Obsticals In Life
The Way They Dress And Act Will Be There Sight
Continuesly Some Try And Are Rejected By There Peers
Depending On Others, Embaresment Is There Worst Fear
How Can A World Created For Equality Be So Cruel
Making Jokes At People, Because There Not Cool??

Meet Phil
Phils Parents Have Neglected Him Since Day One
Some Days His Father Forgets He Even Has A Son
Locked In His Room In Deep Thought On How To Escape
Thinking Why God Would Give Him A Life Of Hate

Dreams
Phil Once Had Dreams He Wished To Fufill
Now He Says Fuck It Im Stuck In This Land Fill
Always Thought Of Being A Doctor..Liked To Help
But Now He Relizes It Wont Happen, He Cant Even Help Himself
He Deals With The Life He's Delt, But No More Dreams
Life Is Almost Over In His Eyez, Or Atleast Thats How It Seems

The Torment
Taken To School Only To Take The Harrasment He Daily Faced
Princable Hated Him, His Parents Thought He Was A Discrace
Never Got A Full Education, So Phil Was Labeled Dumb
Everyone Tormented Him So bad, He Wanted To Kill Each And Every One

The End Of Torment
Phil Took His Fathers Bat To School, Just For A Friendly Game
No One Really New This Kids Mind, No One Helped This Insane
Walking Past The Door To The Bathroom, He Swung At A Kid
So Innocent And Young, But Such And Impact Left Dents That Were Big
Upset With His Deeds, Phil Started Dripping Tears And Counting..
How Many Years, Will It Take Till I Climb My Mountain...

Last edited by Solid Witz : 06-18-03 at 01:43 AM.
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Old 06-18-03, 01:42 AM   #2
Solid Witz
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Up!
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Old 06-18-03, 01:45 AM   #3
Kapone
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good shit dog, was feelin it, u really brought out ur emotions

u hit a dude in the head with a bat?

cuz,, thatd be cool
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Old 06-18-03, 01:52 AM   #4
Solid Witz
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Thanks for the comment, ACTUALLY!! my best friends brother (who is mentally ill) attacked a kid who had been making fun of him.. Phil is not his actual name but this did happen...























































Kind of freaky lol
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Old 06-18-03, 02:01 AM   #5
Solid Witz
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Uppin for some feedback
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Old 06-18-03, 02:14 AM   #6
Kapone
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was it with a bat?
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Old 06-18-03, 02:42 AM   #7
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This Was Nice I Was Really Feelin Dis..Keep Droppin Man....This Was Ill
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This is a dope sig.
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Old 06-18-03, 10:47 AM   #8
Solid Witz
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Think it was a miniture bat yeh..The ones for little kids, they still hurt lol...
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Old 06-18-03, 11:06 AM   #9
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Nice stuff dawg,i liked tha topic and tha rhymes didn't dissapoint,keep it up.

Peace
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Old 06-18-03, 11:46 AM   #10
Solid Witz
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Thank you West, Uppin for feedback!
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Old 06-18-03, 12:26 PM   #11
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aight feedback:

"In The Begining
Children Must Overcome Many Obsticals In Life
The Way They Dress And Act Will Be There Sight
Continuesly Some Try And Are Rejected By There Peers
Depending On Others, Embaresment Is There Worst Fear
How Can A World Created For Equality Be So Cruel
Making Jokes At People, Because There Not Cool??"

- this was a tight way to start, the verse didn't disspaoint, the flow,vocab and overall look of it was dope, because it is a reality for many kids, this added to the effectiveness of the verse!

Meet Phil
Phils Parents Have Neglected Him Since Day One
Some Days His Father Forgets He Even Has A Son
Locked In His Room In Deep Thought On How To Escape
Thinking Why God Would Give Him A Life Of Hate

- this was a nice introduction of the character, howveer i thought this was the weakest verse, but by weak i also mean it was dope....

Dreams
Phil Once Had Dreams He Wished To Fufill
Now He Says Fuck It Im Stuck In This Land Fill
Always Thought Of Being A Doctor..Liked To Help
But Now He Relizes It Wont Happen, He Cant Even Help Himself
He Deals With The Life He's Delt, But No More Dreams
Life Is Almost Over In His Eyez, Or Atleast Thats How It Seems
- this was probably the ebst verse in this piece, it was emotional, flowed well and the wordplay and vocab were hott..

The End Of Torment
Phil Took His Fathers Bat To School, Just For A Friendly Game
No One Really New This Kids Mind, No One Helped This Insane
Walking Past The Door To The Bathroom, He Swung At A Kid
So Innocent And Young, But Such And Impact Left Dents That Were Big
Upset With His Deeds, Phil Started Dripping Tears And Counting..
How Many Years, Will It Take Till I Climb My Mountain

- this was a great way to end it, the emotion was blazin, the visual imagry as well was hott, the vocaba nd wordplay really came through in this verse...


OVERALL: i'd give this a 9/10, it was a tight piece filled with emotion, imagry, the flow and vocab were ace!

keep it up!
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Old 06-19-03, 10:58 AM   #12
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^ Agreed, good shyt bro..
Dopeness, I knew who this was about right away...
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