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Old 06-20-03, 01:24 PM   #1
K.E.M
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Arrow The Plagerism of a Sentence

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wat memories seein this place back up....here..


we speak within tangles of action verbs and adjectives
trying to express the inner feeling of soft lights
biting down to hold in the upsetting feelings we dont want to share
striving for some satisfaction that adam really did love eve
the moonlight shows a sliver of the path to which we must follow
ive tried to leap out, grab the rope and pull you in
in hopes of dedication and wishes that will never be fufilled
but you wouldnt tie a knot to keep us safe, oh no, you wanted to be free
a strand of ignorance outwardly seen as vengence and protection
inner held is a rose of grace that holds perception of the matter
we tear its petals and base loves heart upon the last leaf
casted off by tears of deception....kind of like this piece
its these lines, these lines that are suppose to shape my emotion
the lines of poetry that will give insight to you
and supposedly they will make you understand love and its mishaps
but then why do you have to read at all, dont you live it, dont you love it
we speak on tragedys and speak the plagerized sentence so many fear
i love you without sinn and attraction, i just love you and i think thats enough
ive bound my heart to stay beating in perfect balance with your breathing
we washed ourselves to clense beings and make the love as pure as my name
somehow i never knew, i always guessed at this game
tell me that im the center of your world and that the stars light the sky for me
youve kept a box with treasures that belong to me but i give willingly to you
the key is missing and i am afraid that anyone will be able to take a peek
its a nightmare that i cant escape no matter how many dream clouds i hide behind
when all i want is to wake up crying and have you sing me back to sleep
the apple out of reach never falls, but seduction is always willing to befriend
these lines get tiring,after all how could you understand such buried emotions
im not being open with the reader which is the authors first obligation
but then again, i can not be held accountable if you dont know what love is

one love
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Old 06-20-03, 02:35 PM   #2
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look who came out the woodwork from esp...this was alright ka....peace
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Old 06-22-03, 08:34 PM   #3
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uppin for talent...shows how much this has switched up
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Old 06-22-03, 11:23 PM   #4
K.E.M
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oh,yes it does ..thank u by the way..
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Old 06-23-03, 03:16 PM   #5
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eyo man i l i k e d ya piece...it was quite interesting ... stay true

holla at my piece "for years to come"

fashow kid
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Old 06-23-03, 04:12 PM   #6
shiznit
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the vocab use was very impressive...the art of writing really showed up on this one...i could really break it down for u but it seems to me that its too damn long for me to comment bar by bar...

the content of the poem came out pretty strong...

"the apple out of reach never falls, but seduction is always willing to befriend
these lines get tiring,after all how could you understand such buried emotions"

im awed by these lines...u structured and explain it pretty logical...great job!


"im not being open with the reader which is the authors first obligation
but then again, i can not be held accountable if you dont know what love is"


finishers have always been my faves...cuz its like the major part of the poem...cuz u can always tell how good a poem is by their endings...i loved this one!

nice ..props for that...talent grows...drop more
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Old 06-24-03, 07:51 PM   #7
K.E.M
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thanks for takin ur time to read...wont be overlooked
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Old 06-24-03, 08:49 PM   #8
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Nice to see you back KEM. Nice indeed...

...and with such a nice piece.

I found it hard to read. Cos of the font. And my word processors aire playing up so i couldn't copy and paste it...

...but i struggled through. And ended up appreciating this piece for it's imagery, detail to vocab...hardly any of it seemed out of place...

...a truly well written piece...

...resp...
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Old 06-26-03, 03:07 PM   #9
K.E.M
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lol sorry^..wanted it to look smaller so therefore itd look shorter and people would read it..cause u know how people take long looking pieces.

thanks for the reply though,
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