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Old 06-24-03, 01:13 PM   #1
Verbatim
That's Right...I'm White
 
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Slipping

IP: EB99 F91D

Hit the wall, knuckles bleeding
floor and blood, slowly meeting
loosing blood, as it keeps dripping
can't stay calm, temper slipping
inside is built up with so much rage
writing this shit, while blood stains on the page
can't belive she could do this to me
so much hate for her, inside of me
2 years of loving her in this life game
then she goes and meets some guy named shane
i'm never gonna be able to forgive this hoe
till i see this guy, and just let go
gonna unleash when i see this man
after all i been through, i'm sure he'll understand
so much anger, loosing grip
can't wait till i see this bitch
i don't know how this girl could do this to me
even after she said that she loved me
but i guess you can't trust anyone
the hell with this poem, i'm done

it's short, i don't care
say what you think
peace

Last edited by Krem : 06-24-03 at 03:54 PM.
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Old 06-24-03, 02:18 PM   #2
Verbatim
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or don't
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Old 06-24-03, 02:21 PM   #3
oddly ill
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this was an ok piece at first i thought you were doing a piece towards being the hulk ou know with all that rage built stuff you were writing but any ways this was good
one

yo peep my shit
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=60515
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shut the fuck up

even if i stutter i'll still sh-sh-shit on you/ pun

dead in middle of little of little italy
little did we know that we riddle
some middle man who didn't do ditally/ pun
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Old 06-24-03, 02:42 PM   #4
K.E.M
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this was depressing...which i think was the intent of the piece.
short but a good read..emotion was good.

one love
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Old 06-24-03, 02:46 PM   #5
Verbatim
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thanks
keep uppin
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Old 06-24-03, 03:45 PM   #6
Verbatim
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come on
don't sleep
keep uppin
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Old 06-24-03, 07:57 PM   #7
Verbatim
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come on here
gimmie feed back
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Old 06-24-03, 11:03 PM   #8
LaDy TrInItY
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Hmm...Cheer up kid..if she did that to you..then she's not worth it...Keep ya head up always. Some of ur lines got me lost..in tha style i guess..but hey what do i know..i haven't been back to RB for that long..Hollah...God bless..1.
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Old 06-24-03, 11:16 PM   #9
Verbatim
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Thanks
Lady Trinity means alot to me
peace
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Old 06-26-03, 08:59 PM   #10
SmoothCrmnl
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eyo kid...intense poem....u got skills

keep doin you and let the 'WoRd' come to you unforced...

holla
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Old 06-27-03, 02:05 AM   #11
Verbatim
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Thanks
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Old 06-27-03, 06:43 AM   #12
Dadi Kewl
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Cheer Up.............

As far as the piece goes, was ai
vocab and shit was kinda basic but still ai

and goddamit man

<center>GET HAPPY</center>
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Old 06-27-03, 09:27 AM   #13
filed
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ks first things first

~ ever think that maybe she didnt break up with you for shane seeing that she didnt even know shane untill you fuck things up and it ended

~that it was your own fucking fault it was over to begin with dont take all your rage out on him hes not even in the picture you just try to put him in only cause you want some1 else to blame what you fucked up on

~ for fuck sakes all this shit about what she did to you for man get a grip after all you do was totaly hit her with all those words putting me down and shit. think about it and you'll really see who let who down ass
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R.I.P to my lost girl
~ Nyla ~
keep singing in heaven

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Old 06-27-03, 04:44 PM   #14
shiznit
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i feel you on this one...

i have a friend who has chronic depression and he cuts himself all the time for no reason...

its pretty sad knowing that ur writings reflects what u feel..i mean thats the whole point of poetry....emotional release

the style was pretty simple..its like reading a nursery rhyme...nahhh...jp...

but whatever it is...these are just some tests ya know and she aint worth it....u deserve better...

hang in there...and drop more!
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