![]() |
|
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||||
BANNED
|
Under tha Sun
IP: 1501 77A0
A man is on a journey which involves walking through the desert. On his way he finds an oasis where he sees 3 other people sitting down around a camp fire. He goes and joins them, after a while everyone starts to tell stories, the man listens very carefully.
An elderly looking man starts to speak A long time ago after the ice-age n comets, From the heavens they came god’s prophets, Great ones still remembered like Muhammad, Teaching us Islam and not to cause harm, Showing us how life was an unflawed farm, It’s our choice whether we are the animals, Or money blood thirsty Mason cannibals, Whether we’re the care takers or the herbs, Protecting us from views seen by birds, But now we cant think for ourselves Our minds remain thoughtless, No feelings for our fellow man Our soul remains heartless, Sandy lakes getting blood filled, Our minds need to get distilled, The evil is needs to get purified, Complex situations like this Needs to get simplified. A young man in plain clothes starts to talk Hello my name is Aladdin, I don’t mean to be bragging, But I got a magical flying carpet, A pet monkey I found in the market, Formerly he was a casual thief, Now that career was brief, Cuse me and him found a genie, First he acted like a big meanie, I got 3 wishes and for my very last, I said “genie our friendship should last”, After that I hooked up with the princess, “Aladdin she’s none of your business” Said Razul the chief of security, “Your nothing but an impurity”, The next day I won her heart, “I’m not a fool Razul u retard”, I met a smart ass parrot called Yago, He got into too much trouble-though, The ruler of Agraba was the Sultan, Yago would regularly insult-him, One day I’ll marry my love Jasmine, Aladdin will be a street legend No double crossing has-been. |
||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
|||||||
BANNED
|
IP: 4577 CD9A
Pretty good piece. I like it.
|
|||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||||
BANNED
|
IP: 1501 77A0
thanks for the reply...............................
|
||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||
-Real Time-
|
IP: FDD6 AE15
Likeable Peice, Pretty Good Writing, Elevate And It'll be Ill Shit, Maybe One Day One Of Your Peices Can Join Mine In Rb's Legends
|
||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
||||||
Guest
|
IP: 1BD5 13B2
good idea, storytelling ability was good, some syllable counts where long but overall the flow was there, i dug the content and wordplay.
pieces. |
||||||
![]() ![]() |
![]() |
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|