-DEATH OF THE SUN-

The tear spot, my throat throbs
Life coats lies with low tides.
Stranded on the sandy beach with no ties...
Thrown by.
The chrome lights in memory
Flown by like a fairy but visually scary
Timidly staring, trilogy daring limitlessly
Lost my bearing and the history of certain things.
This dragon lost its wings
When it seperated from its family.
Capturing the picture graph of nature,
Stabbing leaves of poison ivy drops
Secrets locked, perhaps philosophy knocks
It's gotta be the prophecy I think
But it's not...
Just the past that's haunting me,
I thought I forgot.
The death of a sun, throbs the chest cavity
Above and beyond the battle beats
My tissues dampened,
Silence seeps.....devours
Reap the problems as a coward losing sleep.
Metacarpals fuel the key to type a seed
It's grown to breed this rap-like poem-like rap
To energize Hell from me.
Like jail I be but the cell has thickened walls;
Ghastly oceans overlooked
My hidden flaws now opened up like malls
Then close upon a deception took.
The Devil's prolific weapon is manhood
To test the fortress of faith with openness
Before it's understood and focused in.
My heart has died to be broken in.
.....................
And in the end it's been persistence.
Sealed in a closed coffin and still breathin'.
After the real beatings of punishment troubled,
I rumbled thunderstorms within a closed circle.
Feeling the feelings of emotion,
I kicked the turbulence of stress.
The solar kills the skin
But still I'm protected within my polar self.
A child and parent
Are the only two things you need to conjure Hell;
Contagious, spreading deadly fires
On the property of farmer's fields.
Offerings tarnish wealth.
The heart was closed,
Mind, body, and soul in jail.
Death of the "sun" (son);
Where the dragon is slayed
But his life has just begun.

-Addlibb

pz.

Dam...................

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

what the fuck all these people sleeping for this madd hot masterpiece from the one and only Addlibb??

although the lines were short...i was speechless from the beginning as caught my last breath at the end...

the whole imagery awed me...and the metas are too damn well used on here...its like it would take a lot of thoughts and hardwork for this piece...


"Mind, body, and soul in jail.
Death of the "sun" (son);
Where the dragon is slayed
But his life has just begun."

...and well of course the finisher....thats the most amazing part of the poem..the whole concept of dragon slayin..its just amuse me sooo much

love the ish...

drop more

__________________
<br><br><center>- Shiznit -
- Tampons are still expensive -
- That's a Fact - </center>

^thank you shiznit, god bless you.

wow....someone appreciates my work.

ups

Sleepers, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

dam some feedback plz

This is from Vortex.

damn this was hot Addlibb...this touched deep.
It's really hard to voice what it was about, I didn't really catch it, but it was still dope.
I liked how you swapped son and sun, and the whole rap like-poemlike-rap like thing.....

best lines:
The Devil's prolific weapon is manhood
To test the fortress of faith with openness
Before it's understood and focused in.
My heart has died to be broken in.

damn.
hott piece dude
Peace

__________________
Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

Thankyou, for all feedback

Damn...This Was Really A Dope Piece...There Were So Many Lines That Had Feeling Put Into It...Damn Son...You Got Some Mad Skills...I Enjoy Readin Your Pieces...Keep It Up...

__________________
<center>
[size=0.5]My Wins Always Bring Fire[/size]</center>

^thanx all

ups

A quite superb piece.

Imagery was brilliant. Constructed in a kind of half ' purpose built', half 'as you go along' way....which added to the effect of this piece.

The flow was quite effortless, the rhyme scene not getting in the way of that (some stick to rigidly to it, therefore suffocating the piece with too much emphasis on it..)..but as said, you didn't do this.

The ending was superb. Though i was thinking of something else when reading this. Something more to do with humanity destroying nature, and the towns n cities taking over...and i guess it could be intepreted like that..i mean hey, that's poetry, right?..

...well enogh said from me.

..resp...