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Old 07-22-03, 09:50 PM   #1
Dez
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You cant Change Fate...

IP: B7E7 EEE0

this was a topical for another site... feedback is appreciated



Robert Johnson was a middle-aged man...
steady job, a wife and two kids for fam...
it was a cloudy Monday he ran into a beautiful girl...
free spirited,14 years old, not a care in the world...


Rita, a 14 year old who grew bored easily...
defiant cause Daddy ran out at the age of 3...
had a special oak tree, where she went to think the day away...
a new face, an old man, Bobby, he begged her to stay...


they talked for hours about how his dreams had led him astray...
she didnt say much, just listened, as he talked the day away...
"You must thing im crazy", he said 100s of times while he spoke with her...
she didnt care what he talked about, he gave her attention, she hung on every word..


Roberts wife had been cheating on him, he hadnt been with a women in years..
he told Rita his sad story as his eyes filled with tears...
she was all ears, and asked if there was anyway she could make it better...
"Just be a friend", her words seemed to take away the hurt with every letter...


they talked and talked, as day turned into night...
the sun had set, but for once his life was looking bright...
"It isnt right", she said to him and he agreed...
cuts bring blood & pain but both subside,when we are truely hurt,why cant we bleed?..


the carnival was in town,he wanted to take his new friend there...
he figured it as a way to repay her,so they went off to the fair...
Robert became growingly aware of these new feelings he had felt..
for she was beautiful and caring,he was being turned on by her very smell...


No! he tried to get these thoughts of rape and sex out of his mind...
as she held his hand while they walked towards the food line...
shes only 14! youre a married man, he thought in his head...
the devil took control, towards an empty tent he had lead...

"it wont hurt her, ill be done with it and then leave quickly"...
he thought the tent was empty, but there sat an old gypsy...
"Ill read your future for free" she said in a raspy voice...
"Please Bobby please!" said Rita, she was too pretty, he gave in never really having a choice...

Rita saw her fortune as she looked into this Crystal Ball...
she looked to Bobby in fear, couldnt come to grips with what she saw...
stood in awe, as the vision kept replaying in her mind..
Bobby forcing himself into her, she began to cry...

Unaware of what she saw and skeptical of the fortune tellers powers...
he sat down and looked into the ball, he saw a field of flowers...
a girl, 16 or so sat in the middle with a gun and a baby...
sobbing while screaming "Why god, why did he rape me?"...

Rita had become pregnant as a result of the incident...
kicked out of her home cause her mom didnt think she was innocent...
argument was immenent, "You fucked him dont say he raped you bitch"...
nowhere to go, slept under the bridge in a drainage ditch...

forced to drop out of school, with this life she was done..
Micheal, a year old, was her illegitimate son...
held the gun to her head and pulled the trigger...
Micheal, had no home and now no mother, problems just got bigger...

Robert gasped at the image he saw and couldnt believe his eyes...
knowing she would die, because of his actions tonight...
it was a human life, he reconsidered and decided not to rape her..
thanked the gypsy, looked into Ritas eyes, and saw nothing but hurt..

"its ok its not going to happen" he said with a forced smile...
she didnt believe him, ran out of the tent, didnt stop for miles...
Robert was in denial, what a terrible sight..he chastised himself at the thought..
decided he'll change the future and get a hooker, he wont take sex, itll be bought...

while looking for a lady of the night, he just so happened to drive by that old oak tree..
he saw her, she came here because this is the only place where she is free...
Satan creeped up silently into Roberts mind, got out and do the devils work..
"You cant change fate", he repeated as he raped her again and again.he finally left, 9 months later, she gave birth..

Last edited by Dez : 07-22-03 at 10:12 PM.
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Old 07-22-03, 09:54 PM   #2
J.K.O
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whoa damn i enjoyed this piece itr was awesome
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Old 07-22-03, 10:04 PM   #3
Dez
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thank you...more feedback please
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Old 07-22-03, 10:30 PM   #4
Dadi Kewl
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Nice piece nigga props

concept was great and explored well
i fully enjoyed the read,
peeps should respond more to long posts as
there normally good

nice

-pz
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Old 07-23-03, 01:44 AM   #5
Dez
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hmmmm... up
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Old 07-23-03, 03:15 AM   #6
Kosta
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one line replies...are still not acceptable...


*when i get my banning rights...it's on*
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Kevin. Alex. Patrick. John.
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Old 07-23-03, 04:37 AM   #7
Dez
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up.
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Old 07-23-03, 04:42 PM   #8
Dez
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feedback?
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Old 07-23-03, 05:57 PM   #9
Master Blaster
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"You cant change fate", he repeated as he raped her again and again.he finally left, 9 months later, she gave birth..

^^^Sounds Fun

But Really...Nice Piece...I Enjoyed Reading This Massive Post
Of Yourz

You Told A Good Story...Characters Were Filled With Life...Good
Visuals...I Fealt Like I Was There - LoL

Not My Cup Of Tea Though But Still Dope Overall

~1~
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Old 07-23-03, 05:59 PM   #10
Dez
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thank you...whos the girl in your Avy?
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Old 07-23-03, 06:12 PM   #11
Master Blaster
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^^^Her Names Marta

Nice Isn't She

~1~
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Old 07-23-03, 06:23 PM   #12
Dez
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id hit it.
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Old 07-23-03, 06:26 PM   #13
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whoaa!
fucking dope....
great to read....loved the twists in there....very good shit
well told...good imagery...flow..and emotion in the whole verse
best open mic ive seen in a long time
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Old 07-23-03, 07:09 PM   #14
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thanks Gee
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Old 07-23-03, 08:38 PM   #15
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UPPIN

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say dawg ya shit waz hott i mean strait off tha chain
keep postin tight shit like that and ya replyz from me
will grow dawg !!!!!!!!!!! Holla !!!!
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