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Old 08-08-03, 01:09 PM   #1
Dirtysouthchick
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Exclamation Left Your family behind

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A playa is what you thought you were
Was I not good enough...can you explain why her
Everynight I toss and turn thinking about you
What made you change your ways,what made you do the things that you do
I know it wasn't the fact that I was pregnant because thats what you wanted
Maybe it was the fact that you were married that had you haunted
After one year of marriage now you want to leave
I should've known that you had these kind of tricks up your sleave
Imagine a couple of years from now when your baby girl can understand
Shes gonna reach up looking for her daddy, shes gonna want to hold your hand
But she won't be able to because you walked out on you family
Who know she might cry everynight asking " Mommy doesn't daddy love me"
And then I'll tell her "yes he does baby, you're perfect in every way"
"It's me your daddy didn't love, It's because of me he wouldn't stay"
And when you do go to see your daughter and she doesn't want to be with you
Remeber this is the life you made for us, this is what we're going through
OR what if this new girl doesn't want you anymore and youre left with nothing else
Maybe then you'll understand what I'm going through, maybe you'll feel the pain that I felt
I gave up my dreams and everything that I had in lfie
Just because I knew one day I would be your wife
I wish there was a way that I could keep my daughter and turn back the hands of time
Because then I'd give my baby girl a real daddy...one who thinks with his heart and won't ever break mine
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Old 09-01-03, 07:43 AM   #2
The Necromancer
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Yeah I totally understand. Men are irresponsible perverted pricks.

Anyway, I didn't find the first few lines all that comprehensive. But about around where you started having a conversation with your daughter I became entranced. That's difficult to do.

Keep it up.

~Shalom~
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Old 09-01-03, 11:35 AM   #3
Content
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how about you dont be a no show for the tournament?

a somewhat deep moving overplayed topic but with all
of that aside still done well in your own special way....

not bad by any means
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Old 09-01-03, 08:05 PM   #4
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Yah word, I ain't met any dudes that really ain't playas. The dudes that ain't playas/perverted boys, they not into gals ... haha! But ya, that piece was tite! Some dudes just dont understand ...
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Old 09-01-03, 10:49 PM   #5
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Shes gonna reach up looking for her daddy, shes gonna want to hold your hand
But she won't be able to because you walked out on you family
Who know she might cry everynight asking " Mommy doesn't daddy love me"
And then I'll tell her "yes he does baby, you're perfect in every way"
"It's me your daddy didn't love, It's because of me he wouldn't stay"


This is what I really took from the work. The intimacy here is beautiful. ANd you have written it so well, it flows ingeniously. I love this bit.. Ive been there, Ive had this conversation with my daughter, so I really felt this part. So very well done. Kudos~
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Old 09-02-03, 12:47 AM   #6
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Your verse is due tomorrow for the Poetry Tourny.. which you havent even checked in yet for..
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Old 09-02-03, 02:09 PM   #7
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nice piece, ... it was hard getting into, ...
but you took me with your conversation to your daughter
Guys can be jerks, don't let 'em take ya down... the right guy is just 'round the corner.
Nice work baby girl

peace
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Old 09-04-03, 04:24 PM   #8
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nice piece,i was feelin it, mad emotion, although stereo typing guys as perverted pricks aint cool,tha right one will come along one day but it wont be tha daddy,hopefully hell be more of a daddy to ya baby girl than her real daddy is.keep ya head up.peace boo.
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