I come with biochemically enhanced brain implants//
Enough to deform a man and turn his crew into little cubes//
Ill consume you, like the fear of defusing a bombs fuse//
My radioactive package will chew through bomb suits//
Tounge molecules creating blast past levels beyond unknown//
Multiple sections explode leaving you scold//
And thrown past the many layers of the ozone//
Your remaining bits circulate around in orbit//
Seen from telescophic porchs, mistaken for alien sources//
Extra terrestrail forces, my words are outta this world//
You get twist then swirled, flipped and hurled, kicked and felt//
Hits from hell, bricked den nailed, chipped and curled//
Ripped into a realm to be telled, "look down at the ground"//
Realising Ayura has planted a cross on ya mud mount//
With the words written, "look who's PhuKeD n0w"//
Dont fear weapons, fear whats lurking between my ears//
Duck down, this black swan is capable of spirutual manipulation//
Invading the brains of ignorant faces//
Ya physical structure will get raided//
By instruments used on surgery patients//
Free form agents who withstood advanced basic//
Cant even recall the last time they got caved in//
Invisible satan, cus everytime you think you cool//
Ill be the one to ovenbake it//
Turning into a furnace, burning spitting geysers//
Over icicle minors who melt within 20 miles of this lion//

Ayura sparks the heat//
like....

A lighter landing on a pile of deodradrant//
Covered in streams of gasiline and toasters//
Inside a shuttle with moses, departing the cold air into a vacuum//
Led by a shoot, bioligical unbalanced napalm in flammable suits//
With chewed cables and labels//
On chilli jars stating, "add 0.1 tablespoons with the use of food"//
Ciggrates on tables, wrapped in blunts//
And with warm delight, heading for the core of the sun//


...............

Your rhyme scheme really got messed up over the beginning bar, because you didn't fulfull the bar with a rhyme scheme at all.. It just dropped to a completely different word that didn't have any syllables to relate to the word before hand (example from your verse of this happening: "implants" to "cubes.") Your vocabulary was pretty decent for your "first" open mic, I enjoyed it, although it could've been elevated on a bit more, na'mean? The multis weren't at all bad, but add a few more in there to strengthen your bars are petty much weak without them, feel me? Then it affects the whole verse it self. As for the structured format, you came pretty decent, nice length.. Overall, not at all bad for your first written verse, family.. Keep elevating upon your word, mos' definite..

Return The Favor..