aight, jus sumtin simple...

i spit my shit so quik that this hit came 60 miles an hour/
u still think deal's come wit no spills until u meet tru power/
i can slice up shinobi or break tha ankles of Kobe/
or read tha biography of a thug (a book on tupac) to those who don't know me/
don't show me ur AK and say OK i think i got ur pay-day in my bank today/
cause if u rob me, u betta kill me, shit u could even kill me, i'll come back from tha grave/
and i'll make u pay wit blood sweat and tears no matter how many years/
it takes for my revenge to be calm, and for u to live ur life in fear/
i swear, a simply plan is better if u plan to continue on wit tha plan or move on to a different plan/
jus understand that if u take a stand, better be prepared to take a stand wit blood on ur hands/
cause tha shit today comes tru to tha word, down to tha last letter/
even if it's absurd that u got worse and u didn't get better/
than jus quit to make it easy on u and ur family/
cause these flows i have too hot for u to be handling/

not towards nobody jus give me some feedback uppin....!

That was real simple...

Kinda hackish.

Ya basically just spouting off about how bad you are.

I guess it's ok...

Just not near as good as some of the shit I've read in this room.

Keep at it though.

Everyone improves.

Peace

__________________
Merkings will occur Monday thru Friday, 8 am thru 5 pm, C.S.T.
For my convenience, not yours!

i agree with born 2 kill, its not expressive enuff, as in creative but its ok. keep elavating

Born to kill was being kind in his comment, something most people here on RB are not, Kind! You really need to tighten up your ryhme structure, and elevate your vocab. Your drop was so simplistic it was hard to read thru the end. Yeah you had some ryhmes but that's not enough. Use some complexity to get your message across, hide your meaning in the verbage, so that the reader has to think harder. You need to work on that elevation, I know since your new, you might take my advice as a diss, but it is not. I am simply detailing some improvemnts you can make. Peep some of the drops on this site, cuz some cat's here are really Ill. I mean there are alot of talented people here, you can really learn from thier examples. I have been taking thier critiques and applying it in my own work. Keep elevating...

Bounce

__________________
FUCKA BABYLON BANDIT!!!

dawg, bounce y tha fuck u keep callin me a newbie when u've only battled once from wat i c, my internet record is: 127 - 32 - 96 ko's, dawg don't talk shit til u know, this was some simple shit i ain't been tryin since I got discovered, yea that's right if u wanna hear some real shit pick up my CD in stores in Miltown than start some shit but don't do it til u know someone