this is a track i just recorded

what u think ?


title:wake up bitches


verse 1: ayo ayo bitches its time 2 wake-up/
kiss and make-up/
im bout 2 fuckin shake-up/
ur brain and turn it into jelly/
this shit comin out my belly/
givin u a culture shock/
brain deadlocked/
yall musta forgot/
bout me so here the plot/
gets thicker as i drink liquor/
it makes me sicker/
then a man wit a glock cocked/
who got mocked/
and shot up a fuckin buildin/
spit shit thats appleanin and u feelin/
so u get the ultimate head rush/
dont blush just flush/
down the product/
verses so hypnotic/
it'll make u go psychotic/
the only antibotic/
is good clean wholesome fun/
I'm just playin there aint one/
muthafucka that means none /
and now im offiacally done/
oh

chorus:x4 wake up bitches cause u still trowing pennies in wells to make good wishes

verse 2: thats right wake up and smell the java/
im hot, hot like molten lava/
wit flowz wet like a leaky fuacet/
i aint cleanin out my closet/
im just caught up in the moment/
i crush n e oppenent/
so theres nuttin left but rubble/
burst a cop's bubble/
get my white ass in trouble/
break out on the double/
a.s.a.p. skiddlez is comin/
so pour urself some rum and/
never stop actin dumb and/
be urself u just a youngion/
im just like an onion/
when i get cut up, ppl cry/
im just an ordinary guy/
why? should i lie/
i wanna get high/
bitch dont be fuckin cry/
so wat if i nutt in ur eye/
u'll just be blinded temporalry/
i aint askin ya 2 marry me/
i jsut want a 1 night stand/
smack u wit my right hand/
who woulda thought a white man/
could spit and delight fans/
the way that no 1 can/
or could knock on wood/
am i that good?/
hell fuckin yea u just dont get it/
i deserve some credit/
cuz other mcs in the game r pathetic/

chorus:x4 wake up bitches cause u still trowing pennies in wells to make good wishes

Verse 3: as of now im mysterious/
the ppl of the world r curious/
muthafuckin lost and delirious/
my bars r so fast and furious/
its gettin serious/
so now the muthafuckin queery is/
who is this unknown wit the mic? he clearly is/
gonna be victorious, glorious/
one of the most notorious warriors/
the most hardest artist/
2 hit the scene since rap wuz created/
prepare 2 b invaded/
jaded, seperated/
at every fuckin limb/
things r lookin grim/
dim but not 2 fuckin worry/
ima fix it up in a hurry/
mix it up in a dixie cup to b unblurry/
how time fuckin flies/
just wake up and open ur eyes/
realize and despise the wise guys tellin lies/
fibs/
break they fuckin ribs/
ayo ayo wat gives/
you be like "but ur white?"/
its not like i dont know it/
but see im a natural born poet/
i show it as i take shit and throw it/
back at all yall/
i wont fuckin fall/
so wake up butches and dont waste the fuckin pennies/
in the tip cup of ur local dennies/
cuz soon you going 2 amount 2 much greater/
but until then ill see u later/

chorus:x4 wake up bitches cause u still trowing pennies in wells to make good wishes

like i said u need multis and wordplay.a little structure and you can go a long way.~1~

thankz for the honest opinion-- even though i dont agree
im out
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