Fill it to top, drink it down slow, drop your glass to the grass with a flop it goes in slow-mo/
Reversed your insides, teachers denying your insights, actin like a parrot, you only recite/
At home with a headache like hell, trying to remember if you tripped over a fell/
Shakin from head to feat, it aint snow outside, it's sleet, taste your own sweat, sweet/
It's growing dark ang bright lights appear, a voice says. "Don't worry son, nothing to fear."/
Your heart beats slower and slower like a sloth, your dead, you never should have topped it off/


I am new so some constructive thoughts would help. This is about a kid that drinks ad drinks, then ends up dieing. A little sad but has a meaning.

Yeah, that's pretty good. I like the idea and the style is a little more abstract then I'm used to, but I still like it. Good shit right here and keep puttin em out. Hit up my first ever Open Mic entry: She's gone now, and let me know if you're feeling it or now....

Laaate.

Thanks for the feedback man, I really appreciate it. So do we have anymroe feedback for me?????????