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Old 09-11-03, 05:26 PM   #1
nevergoin2die
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identity

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i been searchin for identity, cause my identity cant find me//
just like i been chasing the lime light, just to find the light tryin to blind me//
why u even wanna battle? u motherfuckers kno u could never out rhyme me//
cause to me, this is it, my raps the shit//
it dont take no fuckin spark, for me to get lit//
i love the look in ur eyes when i start to rhyme//
its like shooting heroine up, jsut gets me higher everytime//
i'm the lyrical miracle, the real cerebral assassin//
pushin pussies to the ground, have they asses gaspin//
cause the lungs collapsing, i'm harassment in past tense//
flench at the hence of my name, rapbattles startin to notice ur absense//
u gonan blame it on me? cause u got ur ass beat, so bad the shit be lookin like raw meat//
i'm jaw deep in this game, try to say i aint drownin with skills//
tellin me i aint great like tryin to tell my doc i aint downin them pills//
if i gave a fuck about every girl thats been tryin to fuck me//
i'd be handed out fucks to basically everybody//
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Old 09-11-03, 06:16 PM   #2
Baron Mynd
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The topic was pretty interesting actually, i didnt feel that you did it the justice you could have, the piece was really too short to build into anything too dramatic. Your vocab and multi's could seriously use some attention, they'll help perfect your flow a lot more once you master them, i actually thought your opening bar showed potential but after that you seemed to fall back and gradually slide off topic.

Work on your multi's and internals, try to get your flow together, i suggest trying to keep each line roughly 13-16 syllables in length for a near-perfect flow, you have a few good conmcepts / ideas, you just need to word them slightly better so they really take hold of the attention.

Its all about elevation my man, but you have potential. Just stick at it.

Eace-Pay!
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