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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
09-12-03, 03:48 PM
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#1
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Guest
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Sumin i wrote durin skool tday
IP: 690B 80D9
give me an idea of what you think:
Im the wind that moves the trees/ send a tremour to your knees/ Im an earth quake/ make the world shake/ with my presence there comes fear/ my lyrics peirce through your ear/ to your ear drum/ i am fatal D the only one/ im unique/ the way i walk, the way i speak/ my ryhmes are so tight/ mixed up emotions from deep inside/ try all you might/ take my life but not my pride/ tell me what you think it took me 5 mins to come up wid that. i appriciate your thoughts .............D |
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09-12-03, 03:54 PM
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#2
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BANNED: Biter
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IP: E7EE 3CAA
^^terrible. you need to expand your vocab and really use something from your life to make people feel it.
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09-12-03, 03:59 PM
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#3
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Banned
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IP: 965C 8376
Dag...^^^agree with him....u need to work on ur voccab and expaond ur linez
holla at myne...i think i got somthing u could feed off of...Not puttin urs down... http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=79314 |
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09-12-03, 10:20 PM
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#4
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..Soft Focus..
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IP: D30F 2706
for a newbie...u did iight....i take it you juz starten though...try to up your vocab..right bout things you feel for...maybe your hate for poverty...give people the 4-11 on your inflantations peace msn check my drop out venom..later
__________________
Open Mics The Weathers Art http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673 My Teenage Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850 Secluded http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851 Open Your Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461 |
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09-14-03, 03:09 AM
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#5
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Banned for being stupid
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IP: 95C5 EAD6
for a newb u's aight, but u need to make ur lines longer, the vocab and wordplay needs to elevate, but whatever, just keep postin and maybe put in more thought than 5 min before postin cause the work u put into ur rhymes reflects the way they are read, so just keep ur chin and keep postin dude.
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