First Post-

Verse: 1
I'm your only life force/ your guide my course/
I supply hordes of tight lines you comprise metaphors/
You hold me tightly/ I make your thought visible and slightly/
You use me to express thoughts/ and make concepts mighty/
I deflower the sheets/ mark and empower your speech/
I shower your feats/ with an empowering physique/
But you grip me with your strong hand/ and spawn gems/
you touch my body span/ but your love seems pretend/
My life ends when my blood dries/ and with smug eyes/
You toss me to the side/ and pick up another with loves eyes/
I'm 83 pages old/ I engage and compose/
My essence displays to the audience words on my soul/
I can be an outlet for writer's block/ or an unwanted ink blot/
I can leave impressions or be an outlet for an onslaught/
I am tangible where thoughts are pretend/ a poets best friend/
a creative tantrum or a channel for those who imagine/

Verse: 2
You push me so hard/ you leave pages with permanent scars/
Encrypted within the body of your turbulent bars/
But you toss me to the side and I become jealous and abusive/
If you won't use me to write music/ I'll stop being so fluid/
You left me for another and still/ I'd kill to be refilled/
To be healthy forever and always witness your skill/
But you choose to leave me/ you chose to beat me till I bleed/
And I have my DNA all over the pages the you confidently read/
I have no black eyes/ but read between the lines/
see the handwriting decline/ see all the signs/
And still I no matter what, I stay faithful/ as your pencils stay dull/
Together we make epics for history and sonnets for angels/
So I continue love you and smile when you hand hugs me/
Even when you spit freestyles I'm in the pocket knowing you love
me/
Then the next night when you feel it and inspiration hits/
Oh my God he's writing with out me who is that ... BIC

Verse: 3
He grabs me and fusses up addresses his lust/
I'm in his clutch/ he's frantically moving me to make me erupt/
he pounds me/ and scolds me/ frustration has him throw me/
he comes back and holds me/ and forced me into unloading/
But now I cant take it/ how could you leave me forsaken/
I loved what we created but you left my heart breaking/
And now I can't stand your rhymes on course for divorce/
but poetry I abort/ is malnourished and deformed/
And I see the other pen as you embrace her/ I'm gonna break
her/
She's a fancy pens with a soft grip and an eraser/
But she mocks me and tells me how he likes to bite his pens/
And how she enlightens him/ and he uses her for his writing
binge/
I provoke her camp chock this tramp and for the sake of rage/
I broke her in half and left a puddle of ink on a blank page/
On that same paper our ties where severed to make amends/
It starting dear, emcee "good bye forever sincerely your pen"/

i thought this was a pretty ill drop for a newbie,if you are a newbie,only judgin by your posts you are but anyway,tight vocab,tight multis,good structure, good wordplay,funny topic like how u portray your pen as someone,all in all 9 out of ten good first drop,keep droppin tha hotness.~1~

A definte thanks to Diverse, Ill drop some feedback on your drop. Lol, Im glad you like how I portray my pen as someone, because when I write, my pen is always writing the stuff on the peice of paper.

You know what Im saying, Lol.

wuznt feelin it but it wuz ok 4 a newbie,
i mean i guess i'm classified as a newbie here 2 but i prolly betta than 90% of the ppl hear

Alright thanks anyways.. Uppin..

I have to say this was a good piece, good rhyme scheme and worplay, good vocab, had some good flow but it kinda got thrown off a lil bit at certain parts but all in all good piece I enjoyed readin it considering the fact that u made ur pen seem like a person which is rather interesting but keep it up.

check out mine and Masta C's drop called "life is what we hate (ft. Masta C) thanx in advance if u do leave some feedback please. peace

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<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=red)>Atmosphere - inspirations of following in the footsteps of story tellin rhymes</table></center>

<center>Corrupted Visions</center>

<center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>Giving Sight A Third Eye</table></center>

Yo thanks for dropping the positive feeback. Much appriciated dawg.

Yeah it was a alright drop i thought, keep elevating, but this peice was pretty good i thought, had all the elements wordplay, good vocab, was nice man, keep doing it.