Everyday i gotta think "what the fuck is commin my way'//
dispite the pain i still gotta get away//
wounderin whos the next nigga thats gonna claim they hit//
just to get "awe" from his friends so they would think he "IT"//
fucked up ass family with no one to turn//
see yall think lifes all gravy but yall cats yet to learn//
how would you like to see ya mom shot in the head//
layin on the ground and she bled and on point she dead//
how would you like if ya ya own grandma didnt like you cause you wasnt all Indian//
slap you fa fun and give you fake ass dicipline//
goin to bed at night fearin of gettin raped or even slaughterd//
what makes it worse, what if it was even ya own father//
cant live in peace cause cats breathin down ya back//
always got to watch ya self in fear of gettin claped//
what if you had to fight daily cause some bitch was too jelouse//
or if the bitch man liked you and became too zelouse//
but thats just in movies for most of yall cats//
but if yall went thrur what i went thru>ya wouldnt know hwo to act//

what yall oppinion on what i just wrote and if yall can relate(males in a different way) then post up about it
or if yall want yall can add on
holla

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i liked this piece,tha emotion was felt,rhyme scheme was ill, vocab was tight, structure was good,topics a bit played but u still did it good, all in all i give this drop a 9 out of 10,nice piece boo,keep droppin.~1~

"goin to bed at night fearin of gettin raped or even slaughterd//
what makes it worse, what if it was even ya own father//"
^thas some disturbing shit... deep...
this was aight... I got respect for what you was talking bout... I wasn't really feeling that flow though, made kinda simple but thas aight... don't need to be too complex...
Keep working at it, play around with the rhyme scheme and shit... might help you get better...

Peace

And about this one...

aight uppin^^^^^^^^

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Good peice i thought, flow could have been better, you had some nice lines, there was a lot of emoticion in that peice, keep dropping, i'll be looking forward to your next peice, this peice was good.

I liked this shit ma...the content was nice...a little disturbing at timez but nice...you could improve ya flow a little bit by adding some multi'z though ya know...but this was a good spit girl...keep doin' ya thing ma...holla at 'cha boy...

aight thnx yall i'll do that

uppin^^^^^^^^

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^^^Jea...holla at me on aim if ya need any help or whateva aiiight ma ma...

^^^^^^^^^mack moves....lol


ayo mami this piece was nice all togethor felt it......yo your vocab is weak but you can elevate that quick.....but ya flow was there and ya scheme was there...alll in alll loved it....

7/10 mics








and will you marry me or at least be my g/f

just a thought
worth a try

get at me on AIM......Da Holy Grail

love ya onex fam

aight
syntext i got ya boo
Holla at me lata and PM me aight
Holla back
1

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DAts was sum good shit i really liked dat u can ryme good im feelin yo line.keep droppin sum tight shit like dat.holla

like dat shit.it was aight but yea flow could been betta but overall good shit.cold.cold.holla


CTF(represent)

yo ain't on MA hahahahahaahahahahaahahahahahahahahahah

i was feelin it, i liked the vocab and wordplay. the content was aight, and the topic was kool. overall id probably give it a 8.5/10. good drop.

yo can u check into my post, its called 'back in hell', thanx.

peace.....