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Old 09-25-03, 09:39 AM   #1
Calisto
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*Metaphore*

IP: 554A 44F1

If I were to close my eyes and open them only to see the same damn thing
Would there be any justification in my going to sleep merely to dream?
If a soul were to lie there empty and emotionless would you doubt the being?
And if that person woke day to day what monsters would they be defeating?
Do you understand the situation and the illustration that I'm slowly creating?
Or do you mindlessly fit in, smiling not for you, constantly cherading?

Dilligently counting the minutes and the hours as they pass you by
Dreaming of fleeing down that runway but never daring to fly
Claiming all your life of the magnificense you would bring.
If only you could conger up the courage to spread out those wings
So are you really a caged bird, or some one with a lost soul, to sell?
Your sympathies leaking through every crease or do you wear the mask all too well?

Because I could wake up with out this feeling and not be empty
My life's ambition would not be lacking if you saw fit to forget me
But where would that lead you, back to the crowded road you travel?
Or would your life's tapistry and all that you are begin to unravel?
Is the little hand ticking backwards against the "acheivements" of your life?
Can you honnestly say you've completed enough of the puzzle to suffice?
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Old 09-25-03, 09:56 AM   #2
Smooth JT
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very nice. The flow was perfect and it kept me in suspence. I like how you use metaphors to explain. People can say there going to do something but i means jack squat until you do it. Actions speak much louder than words. Again wit much respect. peace


Not to be annoyin or anything in that sense. Any women out there I would like you to read "A Woman". I would like to see how you feel and your reactions to it. Need replys well i can expand to a greater peice. Thank you very much
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Old 09-26-03, 01:57 AM   #3
prophiit
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Claiming all your life of the magnificense you would bring.
If only you could conger up the courage to spread out those wings
^your gift is vividly apparent in these two lines......felt like you were talking to me......maybe you meant your own struggles with your work but this hit really close to home.......the artist who says they are good but never back it up.......the emcee who won't go on stage.......procrastination at it's best......very nicely written....

So are you really a caged bird, or some one with a lost soul, to sell?
Your sympathies leaking through every crease or do you wear the mask all too well?
have you ever read "i know why the cage bird sings"? because this reminded me of that book.......you have a similar writing style to maya angelou sometimes......which is of course a good thing....she is one of my favorite poets.......my inspiration of sorts....she as well as you, have the ablility to be eloquent without using big words.......dopeness

Is the little hand ticking backwards against the "acheivements" of your life?
Can you honnestly say you've completed enough of the puzzle to suffice?
^sorry but this was just.......beautiful.....kind of a "do you really think you've lived life" sort of messag and an excellent way to end an awe inspiring piece.................great drop ma.....keep writing jewels and we will continue to hold them precious....


respect...
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Old 09-26-03, 09:49 AM   #4
Calisto
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aww thank you both soo much, Prophiit especially thank you for your feedback! I really apreciate people's imputs, and yea I'll check that peice, thank you peace
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Old 09-26-03, 04:24 PM   #5
filed
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iight

wow, this was one of your shorter poems ive read, but close to the most emotion ive ever gotten from them. i think alot of ppl can relate to this in there own way, me being one. you just paint such a beautiful picture with your words its mind blowing sometimes.

If I were to close my eyes and open them only to see the same damn thing
Would there be any justification in my going to sleep merely to dream?

you caught my attention with the very first lines, i loved the beginning it drew me into it, and made me want to read it again.

~Tera~
DONT HATE
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keep singing in heaven
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