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Old 09-26-03, 08:35 AM   #1
KnightShade
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Lost Eternity - fucking read this

IP: AB0D 39C5

Condensed Air, I breathe heavily not knowing about the journy I sought.
The Sweat slowly oozes from my glands, I can't stand to think, I'm burning my thoughts.
My head aching in confusion, Abusing myself as the branches claw at my Epidermus.
As the breaze slowly murmers the rumors, And me without my thermus..
My blood pulsating at 100 miles per hour, as I think of the gore
I become aware of a clamor being made behind me,
**sitting here thinking** damn my legs are sore.
Now what is in store, the accumalation of sweat bleeding down my face.
Like im running an emotional race.
Changing the Pace, The leaves brush across my bare legs, I'm bound to be trapped.
Joints aching with every movement, Moving, 4 days and I still haven't found Any Map.
So I'm shouting "Give Me Back! My Freedom!" But If the tree falls, it don't make a sound.
Speaking of sounds.. Beasts slowly crossing my path, At Last,
It's time to eat, Eyes on the beast, time to take it down...
As I strike at my prey, I can see it's eyes starting to dilate.
But metaphorically thinking I can relate
I was once ones prey, eating away at my flesh, I can still feel the disfigurement.
Feeling beastily I let him go, in resentment.
Oh God!!! Now here comes the downfall of snow.
Scattering around lost in the middle of no where, I'm trying to find somewhere to go.
Uphead within the mere confides of my disfigured vision.
I see a chasm, I cave of solid rock awaiting me to live in, Ahead it glistens.
My torn clothes and Bare legs freazing up like I'm developing Hypothermia, I might Die tonight.
My life's Not right, Made my way to the cave, guess I should Make a fire, Try to Ignite my life..
**Throws matches down** As I start the fire my mind seems to expire.
I now conspire that im tired.
I contimplate while feeling the warmth of the inferno.
But now I grasp that i'm dyin, and it's internal.
Now I lay my soul to rest, **wishing** for the best.
My Mind submerges deep into subconsiousness, Lost within the thoughts That race through my mind.
Embrace my life within this darkness, How did I start this heartless journy through time.
But within my dreams I slowly hope that it will be over within the next day.
Awaking shortly after, break my subconscious ways and start off without delay...
Breaking off for the new day, already feeling the frustration and eternal brutality.
I ponder on life and imagine if this is really my new reality?
My systematic style of thinking is lost and probably will never be found.
As I walk through this desolate place, gasping and now lay dead on the ground......
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Old 09-26-03, 09:14 AM   #2
WORD~PERFECT
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i like that twin you ill with it and complex enough to be simple in understanding uppin this twin
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Old 09-26-03, 09:22 AM   #3
tRiPliCiTy
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Condensed Air, I breathe heavily not knowing about the journy I sought.
The Sweat slowly oozes from my glands, I can't stand to think, I'm burning my thoughts.
My head aching in confusion, Abusing myself as the branches claw at my Epidermus.
As the breaze slowly murmers the rumors, And me without my thermus..
My blood pulsating at 100 miles per hour, as I think of the gore
"Scattering around lost in the middle of no where, I'm trying to find somewhere to go." liked that
"But now I grasp that i'm dyin, and it's internal. " liked that
"Mind submerges deep into subconsiousness, Lost within the thoughts That race through my mind." bah mind mind........
"day.
Awaking shortly after, break my subconscious ways and start off without delay...
Breaking off for the new day" day day???
bah i really liked yourstyle pure orginality, but i dunno ur flow
was kinda off, and umm well i didnt like it when u used the same word rhyming
in like 2 lines, yea this was alrite a bit simple, i thought u were like 1 of the best?
obviously not 1 of ur better works, u can do better i know that, so stop brining
urself down, umm i dunno this was alrite, but i was exceptin way more from
the legendary Knight Shade

NEWER SHIT
return the favor: [ or face a slow horrible death]
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81857

Last edited by tRiPliCiTy : 09-26-03 at 10:53 AM.
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Old 09-26-03, 10:04 AM   #4
KnightShade
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saving my better work for another day
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Old 09-26-03, 10:13 AM   #5
rule
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that was dope....flow was ood..an wordplay was very ill, i liked that, you could really feel wut u were sayin it was cool...good piece man
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Old 09-26-03, 11:58 AM   #6
KnightShade
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thanks uppin
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Old 09-26-03, 05:01 PM   #7
KnightShade
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^
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Old 09-26-03, 05:21 PM   #8
Otherwordz
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the vocab was good...multi'z...good...this was a nice piece...but obviously not one of ya better works...it got kinda simple in parts...but overall this was a hot drop...
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Old 09-26-03, 06:59 PM   #9
KnightShade
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thanks ^
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Old 09-26-03, 08:12 PM   #10
Bazzy
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Let me get my magnifying glass......

Or better yet.....my telescope
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Old 09-27-03, 12:43 AM   #11
Mr.Christensen
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yea the font was type small

hmm... this was well...interesting
the flow was there but kinda weird, all other aspects were good

But within my dreams I slowly hope that it will be over within the next day.
Awaking shortly after, break my subconscious ways and start off without delay

^^fav line

p.s. thanx for feedback on my collab with Sureal

if you would be so kind
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81665
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