Hey yo' listen up, theres a new guy who's gonna get ready to heat it up
Ain't no need to fear, just sit down and drink ya damn beer!
Your all prolly thinkin this is just another peice of white shit who dont know what the fuck he's talkin bout
Think I'm scared? Just fuckin get up and give a shout

Now let me tell ya a little sumthin bout myself, and a few reasons why you dont wanna be me.

I grew up in a sub of NYC
and i remember one time my momma told me nuthin's for free

And I said what the fuck you sayin nuthins for free?
I went to my best friends house
I fuckin' made him hump a mouse
I ate his damn food
I fucked his sister
I stole his dad's gun
that's when i went on the run
he called tha cops
but they fuckin had too many shots
Of course I got away
and had the time to play with some more of his sista's boo-tay
And guess what, that was all for free
And that's fuckin why you prolly dont wanna be me
Just answer one quesion, are ya feelin me?

ok where to start...first off it was really basic, flow needs work, vocab needs work, rhyme scheme and sturture all need work...basiclly you gotta lot to work on.....keep writing though...the more you write the better you'll get...

holla that

you got alot of potential
monstar is accurate in his critique but we he forgot tomention is many have started woare than you have im one of them.