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Old 10-01-03, 02:12 PM   #1
sLiCaD3n'u
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vvurd-pley

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Ayo' aheada my time so I'm changin the clocks//
I'm aimin to drop, so I stay flamin da spot//
my kraniums hot, my tape just shoved in ya box//
like 10,000 dagreez when I'm offa da top//
you luv how I rock, put da smackdown on nighaz testin my glock//
on stage holdin my kroch, pissin on you like R. Kelly just lettin you watch//
and you still luvin me, dont say nuthin different//
just listen, as da word play transitions//
somebody hotta gimme his name he's missin//
same ole mission, da same lames I'm dissin//
sit back and peep da perscise perscision//
spit wurds dat-u'll trap you in like life in prison//
I'm nise wit written, but you can only imagine since dis a keystyle I'm spittin//
sLiCaD3n'u is da name, sika den you is da description//
my wurd-play is so hot even deaf people listen//
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Old 10-01-03, 03:53 PM   #2
sLiCaD3n'u
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uppin for some feed back dayum somebody say sumpthin!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 10-01-03, 05:01 PM   #3
sLiCaD3n'u
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>uppin<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
C'mon I need sum kinda feed back.
Critique me!!!!!!!!!
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Old 10-01-03, 05:09 PM   #4
Hellbound
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yo i thought that your flow was pretty dope....
u ryhmed pretty well...
keep droppin...
return the favour....
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=82929
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Old 10-02-03, 03:12 PM   #5
sLiCaD3n'u
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Good lookin out!!!!!!!!
critique me more yah!!!!!
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Old 10-02-03, 03:16 PM   #6
HazY.B
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the flow was good and the clock line was nice i also thought you had great structure and wordplay as well (hence the title)

I'm nise wit written, but you can only imagine since dis a keystyle I'm spittin//


^ that was my fave line had a nice vibe to it


pay back teh favor with teh *STALKER* link in my signature

hazy
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Old 10-02-03, 03:32 PM   #7
sLiCaD3n'u
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Das crazy how I already did and asked you to critique my shyt at da same time youposted this^.
das crazy.

UPPIN FOR cratiques!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 10-03-03, 01:15 PM   #8
sLiCaD3n'u
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>>>>>>>~still want sum more peeps to critique me~<<<<<<<
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
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Old 10-03-03, 01:19 PM   #9
Mr.Christensen
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this was really good
the wordplay shined the most...duh!
flow was good but not always on point
structure was a little off as well
good drop kid
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