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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
10-03-03, 05:43 PM
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#1
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Guest
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Figure it out...
IP: 739C DB67
You’ve attacked my core and challenged my soul
The very root of all I claim to be… I simply crave my lord for your absolution Give me all of you, no piece a substitution Feed me into dreams my hard heart no delusion And save me forever from this eternal confusion Punish me not for all my fascination and avarice My life yours alone, no other worldly being may suffice Draw me closer into all you are, no compromise And make me one within you, purity in your eyes *Gets on her knees in praying manner* “While this worldly racket spins me ‘round Conquer more than me, As my knees graze the ground, Hear my whispering. Truly show yourself, to be found Lest these demons set me free. “ *Rises again* You’ve attacked my core and challenged my soul. The very root of me… I wanna hear what people think this is about, other than the most traditional God peice, because it's not about the Lord.... peace |
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10-03-03, 06:03 PM
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#2
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Special Ghost To Blow
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IP: 4577 CD9A
This was well done here Cali girl..way to represent us all.
This was about you feeling lost somewhat and searching For some form of guidance becaue you shouldnt have to Be so cautious placing walls up and that two inch bubble Preventing anyone from getting those scenty candles lit.. This was very reader friendly allowing it to feel as If you were speaking to the reader directly.... A loss for words...then again maybe I had the right ones.... Well done... la paz Last edited by Content : 10-03-03 at 09:07 PM. |
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10-03-03, 06:49 PM
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#3
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I Am The Light
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IP: C560 DFFF
Nicely written...I felt the religious sentiment in this piece.....You say it isnt about the lord...care to elaborate on that..
-1-
__________________
SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next? sacred scriptures record (5-0) |
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10-03-03, 09:30 PM
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#4
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Retired.
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IP: 9FD6 DFF7
Hmm...
Nice piece hun... I dont know much about poetry but this had great imagery... A good topic... Great flow in this as well... Nice work ma.... |
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10-03-03, 09:42 PM
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#5
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Guest
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IP: 739C DB67
I'll elaborate on it later... wanna see if some more people can tell what it is... the religious aspect seems to be resounding from it for some reason tho... A write that's commin from the inward thoughts of myself, something that I'm not sure I even fully understand alone. Thank you all, peace
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10-05-03, 12:48 AM
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#6
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..terror walks again..
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IP: 2919 4AA2
what up thunda this Joe Terrify from dayz of old also. readin ya peice seemed like an emotional rollercoaster, but i was lovin ya flow in them 2 verses. i wish it wouldn't have stopped ether. i like poetry thats flows, specially when the flow doesnt have to break the original train of thought. Good Stuff so stay up and stay active and hollar back at this old dog.
peAce
__________________
the one that watches the watchmen: |
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10-05-03, 04:21 AM
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#7
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Atra Ludio or Hip-Hop?
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IP: 051D 4809
I would say that... I honestly don't know. I mean, you say it isn't about the lord. But that is what I took it as. And there is obviously a deeper meaning.
But I can't grasp it and I won't say I can. Some reason the beginning and the end reminds me of the story of Job. Y'know, the guy who really dug God. So much that the devil challenged God in that Job only believes in him because God is good to him, and that if God was bad to Job, Job would curse God's name. And then God totally wailed on Job and fucking tore his life upside down and asunder and fucking anal raped him six ways till sundown. But in the end Job still loved God. Funky scheiße. Um.... yeah, that's all I wanted to say. That I don't get it and I'd love an elaboration. ~Shalom~ |
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10-05-03, 12:38 PM
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#8
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Guest
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IP: 739C DB67
think about that ^^ He loved the Lord because he treated him well, no other person could match that right? Well then God hurt him and he was upset and "cursed his name"(or that's what was expected but he was stronger than that). But in the end he still loved God.
That's basically it. I feel an attraction, well more than that it's like a responsibility to my heart to at least try to make wrong what I did to this person because I love them. I can't have this person back, and I probably did the most shallow thing you could do to try and win this person's effections back, and it hurt me and gave them what they wanted. I got hurt several times over, on different levels, but the most powerful was probably by them... I think I was weaker, I couldn't take my pain and say that I still loved them because of pride issues, I still won't say it, even when they do. But I was proud of this peice. Whether or not it makes sense to any of you, or ever truely does to me I liked it. I thank you all for the time you took to read it and reply, it means a lot... wasup Joe? Peace |
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