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Old 10-08-03, 12:14 AM   #1
Mr.Christensen
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Dont Commit The Crime - TR and Dirty Sally

IP: F5EE 9C5D

The Realist
The court rooms feeling intense, weight of facing the charges of my sentence
Defense lawyers impressed that I'm not charged for all the subsequent offense
With this certain judge advocate, you have to get facts because he bashes threats
I look around and see lots of guests; no contest would lower the consequence
We jump starts to the opening remarks, the jury starts to take his part to heart
Have to mumble curses because this is televised as The State Verses Bonaparte
This crime is seen world wide and most place outside America, especially Pakistan
No one plan can affect on this grand of a scale, courtrooms literally packed in stands
Evidence gained all had ample time to match the blood sample obtained at the scene
Written in short hand I'm sinking like quicksand, tried as a adult even thought I'm 18
Lawyer told me to take the stand, best cased scenario I’ll leave with a brand
Killing didn’t fulfill me, charged from the first to third degree the final decree… guilty


Dirty Sally
There's nothing I hate more than the judges face
When he smiled on my disgrace and closed the case
They're taking away my freedom and my family
My whole life as I know it the law just damned me
And there's just no avoiding incarceration I'm facing
25 to life the punishment is too stiff can't stop pacing
I'm contemplating suicide I would rather be dead
Than be a caged animal I would kill myself instead
I think of robbing and looting clubbing and killing
Up until I've self destructed I want to act a villain
I make a list of the shit I fill up a whole page quick
Like shooting the prez or bombing some agents
No sleep mind in a daze counting down the days
No longer entertain thoughts of going out in a blaze
Accept destiny surrender to fate welcome the chains
Harden my heart to this change my eyes show no pain
They tell me I'm just a number as if I'm a dumb herb
I know they prey on me always so I never slumber
So shackle me shut the cage throw away the key
I'll forget the outside world I won't long to be free...

Last edited by The Realist : 10-28-03 at 11:35 AM.
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Old 10-08-03, 12:31 AM   #2
Whitemon
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Ya'll up here postin', writtin' yo rhymes like you hard,
You probably ain't never been scarred,
Or seen life from behind bars,
Ya'll probably probably drive rich cars,
Only Scars you gots is from lyposuction,
'Cause you had a bad ear infucktion,
Or a chin reduction,
Now I know when ya'll read this you gonn try to come back,
Get so pissed yo lose yo color contact,
Ask the local thug to put out a contract,
I'll give you a tip I can withstand the impact, so don't try that,
'Cause then I'll come and beat yo ass with a lyrical baseball bat,

That's all I gots to say so go ahead try to beat that
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Old 10-08-03, 12:39 AM   #3
Menik
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I liked this piece...i think you both made a real good collab...you both captured the scene pretty well i thought...it flowed nicely through out the piece as i read it...I liked how you both started your verses it was good and i liked the way Sally ended her verse very nice..overall it was a good piece, keep dropping.
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Old 10-08-03, 12:44 AM   #4
Mr.Christensen
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to Whitemon
better than what i can do
shit like that gets you banned
*idea*
oh word I moderate shit...
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Old 10-08-03, 01:14 AM   #5
Artikqlit
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Pretty Good . . .
TR: Ur Shit Flowed Ok, But Lines
Were A Bit Too Long For My Like'n
Some Nice Imagery Tho
DR: Verse Wuz Iight . . . Kinda Basic
Nd Vague . . . Few Nice Lines, I Guess

Keep Writin Ya'll
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Old 10-08-03, 01:51 AM   #6
Sureal
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Realist , My Boy. You're Elevating.
You Still Need Quite A Bit Of Work.
But You Will Be At The Top Soon Enough.
Nice Verse. Just Work On The Thing I
Told You To Work On , On AIM.
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Old 10-08-03, 01:53 AM   #7
Mr.Christensen
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Realist , My Boy. You're Elevating. (the good)
You Still Need Quite A Bit Of Work. (the bad)
<--- (the ugly)

Work in progress...thank you
hey sally did somthing here 2

Last edited by The Realist : 10-08-03 at 02:15 AM.
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Old 10-08-03, 02:11 AM   #8
Crysis
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Realist...all i got to say is major elevation from last time i saw your workings....

Sally....nice..bit basic but nice....flow could use some work but other than that its cool

overall i rate this peice a 7.5/10

nice work guy...and uhh...girl
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Old 10-08-03, 02:21 AM   #9
Artikqlit
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Yo, Realist Drop A Comment On My Shit . . .
I Did Here

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=84165
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Old 10-08-03, 10:55 AM   #10
Mr.Christensen
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3 up
2 left
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Old 10-08-03, 06:49 PM   #11
Dirty Sally
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Thanks for the feedback. I can see how this might be hard to read without an intro, but TR you came through nicely. We should collab again sometime soon.
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Old 10-08-03, 07:00 PM   #12
KingOfKings
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it's okay, kinda too basic to say tho, wouldnt hurt to put in a lil more creativity into it

good drop nonetheless

and please check out my sig
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Old 10-09-03, 01:36 AM   #13
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I really liked reading this was really good piece and not to hard to write about I love your choice of words TR
Dirt Sally better flo then TR but your choice of words were more elementary...

Keep elevating and I think this piece was crazy
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