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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
10-09-03, 01:20 AM
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#1
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Guest
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Time is Near
IP: 58B4 B459
Time Is Near
As the begining starts to end, and seconds suddenly twist and bend... There is a subject to attend, as broken hearts begin to mend... As humanity suddenly realize, that violence was the human's race demise... millions of innocent children paid for the government lies... If there soul's had voices what would they say... If they had one wish, there wish would be for one more day... To stop this hate against other races... Killing innocent children left faceless... As Bush is push to his limits... Husane laughs for intents and gimmicks... As nuclear bombs are made for peace... Nothing is achieved except making the peace~decease... Slowly killing each other, left only with animal instint... Human Race endangered... EXTINCT... ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Really small piece something I wrote at 15... Something from my old Notebook took me 25mins to do... Feedback welcomed... Comments Wanted... Last edited by Northern Touch. : 10-09-03 at 01:22 AM. |
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10-09-03, 01:22 AM
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#2
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Fuck You, I Rhyme Better
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IP: 6BD7 1611
wow this was deep...when did you say you wrote this
umm only slight flaw was the flow... little touch here and there and it would be fine good drop if you would be so kind http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...?threadid=84159 |
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10-09-03, 01:39 AM
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#3
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Banned for being stupid
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IP: 0D07 8E90
i was feelin that, like the realist said ur flow fell off a little, but other than that it was hella tight, keep it up man, u got mad ability.
paece..... |
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10-09-03, 03:12 AM
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#4
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Guest
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IP: B910 8CBB
i was feelin it just the flow needs some work. Good topic to drop a piece on especially in all the war related stories that are going on. no doubt keep it up.
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10-09-03, 04:42 AM
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#5
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Banned: Compromised Account
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IP: 1859 6918
the flow on this i didnt really like..maybe cuz it seems more like a poetry piece to me...good usage of vocab, and like the content..good shit overall...
damn it hurts seein my name on ur merked list....my shit is tainted as a motherfucker... would u drop feedback on this??thanx http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=84172 |
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10-09-03, 08:21 AM
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#6
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Guest
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IP: 103B C99E
ok, like others said the flow was ok but sort of fell of in a few spots, nothing major though...vocab and content where good....nice deep peice...i was feelin it..keep droppin son...
o yea if you get a chance check out my latest open mic...i could use some feedback and ish.... http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=83967 |
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