From the land of magicians 'n' pharoahs I envisioned the day foes-
Fall before my feet like I told them bitches to lay low
Leave stitches on fake hoes who start missions of hate codes
To decrease our numbers drastically like rookies who gambles
I'm dishin out flame bolts on bridges on Lake Road(place near me)
To finish these damn fo'ls(fools) who petition for payrolls
As this edition of pain grows my mind just can't hold
-Out when it feels like every of my brain partitions were scrambled
What do they got to live on? Fins of fishes?~bread?~toast?
People like these dream at nights wishin it would rain gold
Those who havent figured this rhyme's purpose just listen and stay calm
This is dedicated to financial strugglers or those ever evicted from their home


just a quick keystyle

1

lookin for feedback

the flow was really choppy, on an' off there were smooth parts tho... most lines made little to no sense, but who cares right... lol.. it could use work, maybe some punches or better word play

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thnx fo even peepin

but to say it made no sense means you havent understood it cuz u never really took the time out to read and understand it

there is no fillers to my verse

and it may seem that way to you but the flow isnt off

trust me, i rap this shit out

this was written to Fight Music by D-12


thnx fo peepin neways


uppin for more feed

yeah...its pretty hard to judge flow cuz its all in whoever did the piece...i liked it personally cuz it was goin good in my head...the multi use was aight but was off at some points....i understand the story too...u say its a keystyle but then u said it was written to fight music by d12 so i dont know what thats about...anyway...thanx for feedback on my open mic twice..haha....keep droppin

ok, yea i thought the flow was off at some points too.... but overall flow was good....multies wernt bad, structure good, vocab not bad...overall not a bad drop...keep dropping...

also if you get a chance check out my latest open mic, i could use some more feedback...
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=83967

uppin for more feedback

it wasnt too bad but not too good it flowed pretty well to me the topic was aite, the vocab could be elevated... the structure was aite word play wasnt really there and the multis were nice...nonetheless not a bad drop, keep spittn, one.

good spit, nice multies, flow and concept, okay vocab, structure was okay


keep dropping em

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decent drop, everything was on point...i think you had good wordplay an such, keep trying an keep it up..peace

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Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

I agree...this was a decent drop...the flow was on and off at some points though...but your wordplay was good i thought..you had nice multies...and i like the concept...and your content was good as well...overall it was a good piece....keep at it...and keep dropping.