RapVerse.com Community - when i persicute myself(god release me)

10-11-03, 02:25 AM

#16

gotaloveforrap

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that post was dope as hell, the flow was constantly on target, the wordplay and vocab were both exceptional, the topic was hella original, i also thought that was a pretty deep post, keep postin man, that shit was tight.

peace.....

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10-11-03, 12:54 PM

#17

WORD~PERFECT

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thnx son i appreciate that

10-11-03, 02:17 PM

#18

Dirty Sally

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Re: when i persicute myself(god release me)

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Quote:

Originally posted by WORD~PERFECT
I'll break it down for you, this would make a great audio track.

The idea is in the back of my head-
put one in my head and im dead-I cant pretend-
Like I can contend to not wanting it to end.
nothing can stop im my only friend.
Im nothing and have achieved nothing-
this way I leave having done something.
The razor to the wrist-
Last goodbye’s already been writ.
Waite let me resight-make sure I did this right.

--------------------begins to read
------------------------------------------

^^^good opener^^^

DEAR DIARY
This will be the last entry I ever make-I keep faith.
god will forgive but this the only way I save face.
Im tired of being in this place.
and I know my will grows weak.
Im tired now I need sleep-to rest in peace to a world where im not considered a freak.
Where im excepted no dissected to be detested-
Infested by a family that shows love so molested
People can never see me equal.
Im ugly- nobody loves me- just shove me.

Is life really worth living-my everything has been taken but im still giving.

And why pray or delay-When every day my pain replays and relays-
They say life is a gift but for mine I pay each day.
***maybe i should put happiness on lay~away.***
theres so much pain to the point im loosing my brain-going insain-the desire to see my life drain becomes untamed.
My worlds stained-now I will stain it back with a razor to my veign-and cut out the shame.
It is an easy thing to conceive-When your visions clouded you can only perceive-To let anger flow and I know they didn’t mean let it bleed.
But this is what I have left-My life is mess-im always depressed-feelings repressed- this how they must be addressed.
All I ever asked-is to be left alone not to be tasked-with excepting being back stabbed by fake people in masks-
Who always harass-Or to be noticed by woman not passed-to be seen with a queen not to be considered a perv wanting some ass-im not your objects of cruel jokes abd laughs.
They say when you are amplee-made loved to you should be happy.
but my love experience was nasty-loosing my virginity to my daddy.
That’s why my life is filled with punchlines- I was taught to feel love involved slapping.
So do that in my lines-and give my heart in rapping.
This aint a song this my life what im feeling.this Is me now how im dealing-
With being my woarst enemy-and lashing out with death as my remedy-
Im ready.

^^^I would recommend breaking that down in two verses and make "Is life really worth living-my everything has been taken but I'm still giving" into a hook, maybe add another line to it. It would make good audio.

Stay active fam. One+

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10-12-03, 03:21 AM

#19

WORD~PERFECT

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YO THAT IS A GREAT IDEA SALLY THANK YOU

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