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The Shores of Confusion And Reality
IP: CC07 EC19
Standing on the edge, I look into the depths of the shore
My cold breath soars, I stand and hold my head torn In a distort force, I feel the pressure of the breeze I take a ruler to sleep just to measure my dreams To measure the time to the line of confusion & reality I move to illusion's activity's, trying to search for an answer Motionless freelancer, toothless black panther Atmosphere shattered by the sledge-hammer Shining auras grow broader in my minds sun Shadows grow darker in my dark lifes sun My toes clench against the edge of chaos As I watch the tide come in, and the rocks take off Sea chaos, Im in the dry, staring at the aquarium Now you cats chase my cheese My mind's mice claws start tearing I hold emotions, and throw them in chao's ocean No longer is my gun empty, or my sword broken This water, im looking in the grinning face of death But my spray can protects me as I embrace on his text The Phantom Painter, Ghost writer, Shape Changer Poltergiest calligraphy, Letter Drifter Sentence Raider ![]() Last edited by /:Ayura:\ : 10-13-03 at 09:48 AM. |
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BANNED
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IP: 2486 8AB6
thats was okay... i wasnt really feelin this one but for the most part it was good the flow was good but the rest of it was just okay like the vocab but hey keep postin and elevatin and return the favour check out http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=84957
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Guest
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IP: 5AE9 0D41
i thought it was pretty nice, i'll have to agree with yog-dogg
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BANNED - LOSER
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
i also agree wi th yog_dogg
it was good <~~~~~> |
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Guest
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IP: 2B63 E9DE
thanx
still upping this peice though im not sure people quite understand this but its about the borderline upon reality and confusion, the physical definition. How can you tell the differance? |
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..Soft Focus..
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IP: 0115 91DB
HOT...i really enjoyed that piece, the wordplay and metas reallu caught my eye, damn straight flow was great as well
Standing on the edge, I look into the depths of the shore My cold breath soars, I stand and hold my head torn--- /\--that was a damn great opening...a lot of emotion In a distort force, I feel the pressure of the breeze I take a ruler to sleep just to measure my dreams--- that was also very dope, i could sence the hate and worry of thoughts...seemed really interesting To measure the time to the line of confusion & reality I move to illusion's activity's, trying to search for an answer Motionless freelancer, toothless black panther Atmosphere shattered by the sledge-hammer---- Also extreamily well writtin..."toothless Black panther" very unique i thought Shining auras grow broader in my minds sun Shadows grow darker in my dark lifes sun My toes clench against the edge of chaos As I watch the tide come in, and the rocks take off Sea chaos, Im in the dry, staring at the aquarium Now you cats chase my cheese My mind's mice claws start tearing--- Very well worded, had a great feel of the title plus the emotion and thought I hold emotions, and throw them in chao's ocean No longer is my gun empty, or my sword broken This water, im looking in the grinning face of death But my spray can protects me as I embrace on his text ^^that was off the hook, you could really imagine tyhe gun empty and you looking ito the water...great lines The Phantom Painter, Ghost writer, Shape Changer Poltergiest calligraphy, Letter Drifter Sentence Raider--- damn...that was hot as fuck, the flow was quick but the creativity was amazing...great ending..all in all great piece...peep myn...Word Yet Unrevealed
__________________
Open Mics The Weathers Art http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673 My Teenage Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850 Secluded http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851 Open Your Eyes http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461 |
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Guest
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IP: CC07 EC19
wow
Thanx for the reply, mos def i'll reply to your's. I was trying to get the point across of how can you define when your in reality, and when your in illusion upping this though ![]() |
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Ya Mama's Favorite
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IP: 999D 6683
Yo I usually don't come thru Open Mic no more because I havn't really been felling the insperation...I just so happen to stop thrue and I see you shit, Damn! I thought this was dope......
"move to illusion's activity's, trying to search for an answer Motionless freelancer, toothless black panther Atmosphere shattered by the sledge-hammer"........ Whoo..nice shit dog, dope flow which alot of poeple 'can't do on text....imagary and concet is top notch..I can really find nothing wrong with it..... |
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Guest
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IP: CC07 EC19
thanx bruv, really do apreciate it. i think im on the level where i can truely start thinging about making records
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Guest
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IP: CC07 EC19
upping this people
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Guest
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IP: 203B 49E2
Quote:
Wow I really liked your piece except for the last lines I think the last line were just to make it longer but this piece is my legend book.......... |
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Guest
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IP: CC07 EC19
lol thanx
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Eddy.
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IP: FF40 570D
Iite piece,...
u struggled a little wit ur flow, ...but ur concept was well explained tru some hot vocab ....u kept it real nice on topic, .... real nice enjoyable piece, ..but try not to struggle in flow, ... that would make it even better... Props..
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Guest
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IP: CC07 EC19
thanx 4 da feedback, but im still uppin this though
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