Flesh covering my blood a smile covering my hate
A knife opening my woons God questining my fate
Torpedo launched of words out of my mouth again
Not holding back shots im declaring future disaplin
To whom may think they real but causing disfunctions
Glancing at the poor an rich with quick assumptions
Freestyling words that dont even make sence
Unrevealed vocubulary like invicable loneliness
Ghost writtin formulas to the equation of unheard
Equally a fake emcee on'a platter bout tobe served
Yeah you have ambiblicale chords but you was cut off
For your style bein limp your forever gunna be soft
Invasion of lyrical insanity anounced at this oppertunity
Giving me the richisnous to appose the certifiicate of insanity
Free willing an application of a death centance of emcees
Trying to say they writtin wit suspence but really wonna be's
Second guessing wordplay an metas questing whats a verb
How you suppose to write when you dont even no "word"
Herbs with out roots trying to grow with out photosynthisis
Cant do it so dont try you dont have the suns ray pencil giveness
Until the exodus of my name isnt 15-2 i give you this apeal
That i aint finished with clowns words yet unrevealed

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

yo i think this has a dope flow to it.... the only bit i don't like is wen use in sanity twice...but appart from that this was dope as hell
peace

damn.equally--is suppose to equalling--and yeah that line sounds kinda fucked but meh thanks for the feed uppen

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

This was a hot piece there was nothing wrong with this piece at all nice job mang keep it coming like jinkies..

Favorite Lines..

Yeah i agree...this was a pretty good piece...it flowed alright i thought, didnt really get off track...vocab was good...content was good as well...your structure was pretty well too...overall it was a good piece...keep at it...and keep dropping.

yeah that was a ill drop i liked the vocab and flow nothin wrong that i see so keep postin and i look forward to readin more from ya

FLOW...man rule...your flowing like hell
vocab and mutlis were great
this was the best iv seen from you

if you would be so kind
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=84636

thanks..uppen

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

yo...
shit was dope as hell... i love the topic.. kinda caught my eye, the flow was on point, the vocab was moderate, and ur multis were eye opening.. definitly a good read.. keep spittn, one.

Man this was a pretty tite drop....flow was on point...at first i thought fer sum reason dis was a diss to me...but meh itz all good....nice piece fer real...keep up playa

^^...na man no diss to you..lol...just some words i thought should be spoken lol...thanks for the critism...uppen

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

pretty cool, fell off abit at times i think, but i dont think you had a good time with this topic lol

"Flesh covering my blood a smile covering my hate
A knife opening my woons God questining my fate"

kinda witty there lol, althought you had spelling mistakes everywhere. flowed perfect on them two lines, nice opening.

"Torpedo launched of words out of my mouth again
Not holding back shots im declaring future disaplin
To whom may think they real but causing disfunctions
Glancing at the poor an rich with quick assumptions"

Again, flowed well, this topic was a kinda cross between self-portrayel and poverty in a sense.


"Freestyling words that dont even make sence
Unrevealed vocubulary like invicable loneliness
Ghost writtin formulas to the equation of unheard
Equally a fake emcee on'a platter bout tobe served
Yeah you have ambiblicale chords but you was cut off
For your style bein limp your forever gunna be soft"

HaHa. This was madd this section, really interesting with the "Unrevealed vocubulary like invicable loneliness," i thought that line was the dopest, and was really creative.

"Invasion of lyrical insanity anounced at this oppertunity
Giving me the richisnous to appose the certifiicate of insanity"

That was line was alright, but really in internals, you shouldn't use the same word twice, unless you can do something creative with that word like eminem - "I pop two pills, till my pu-pils swell up like two pennies"


"Free willing an application of a death centance of emcees
Trying to say they writtin wit suspence but really wonna be's
Second guessing wordplay an metas questing whats a verb
How you suppose to write when you dont even no "word"
Herbs with out roots trying to grow with out photosynthisis
Cant do it so dont try you dont have the suns ray pencil giveness
Until the exodus of my name isnt 15-2 i give you this apeal
That i aint finished with clowns words yet unrevealed"

Nice way to finish, although you had loads of spelling mistakes throughout the whole peice, unless you designed that for originality i dont know.

overall this deserves a 7/10

(i dont consider any piece either hardly 9/10 or 10/10, as this considers it perfect)

yeah my spelling on'a computer gets sloppy lol...meh...thanks for the feedback....an for critiquing my work...peace..UPPEN

__________________
Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461