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Old 10-13-03, 06:20 AM   #1
K.Largo
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S.S. supply and demand

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Supply and Demand.



year 2750 ......

poverties at an all time low, finally all crime has slowed.
crumbles of what used to be, stories of what father time has told.
year round cold has frozen the asthma of every plants' last breath.
no more grains of regret and even jesus broke his last bread.
forget abundance as weak arms drum to a slowly stunned dance.
the last horn rang a war chant, what once fed us.. now we broke hand.
like militant armed human viruses, ignoring cries that broke silences.
machine torned down trees, even hatchets that swelled up calluses.
Anaylisis of devastation was off , sad error in computing calculations.
we were more into new gadgets then save our self innovations.
blood drained from the veins, we vamped all natural oil.
toxic waste congested the rains, the spouts nozzel was boiled.
so no more drinking water, our last thirst had been quenched.
at last it had avenged what gods' creative mind had arragend.
now we fend for ourselves may the strongest willed survive.
better off dead, life cut short....HOW?! when this is the longest thrill alive.
abide by no rules our motto of greedyness applies to every man.
too bad it shortened our supplies, for our hungry wrong demand.
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Old 10-13-03, 06:44 AM   #2
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veru concious and colorful in terms and word usage i li9ked this stay up twin ...........
peep the new shit
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Old 10-13-03, 06:49 PM   #3
K.Largo
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thanks up.
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Old 10-13-03, 07:20 PM   #4
menolin
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nice drop, some nice wordplay, jus keep doin wat ya doin dude
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Old 10-14-03, 03:47 AM   #5
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^^ yeah werd really keep doin what u is doin dawg the wordplay was off da hook so keep postin and i will keep readin ur shit
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Old 10-14-03, 07:06 PM   #6
K.Largo
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upperz yupperz
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Old 10-14-03, 07:22 PM   #7
KingOfKings
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this was a nice drop yo, nice concept and use of vocab, was feelin dis one

liked da "jesus broke his bread" line and some shit about toxic waste

word
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Old 10-15-03, 07:30 AM   #8
K.Largo
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Up...
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Old 10-15-03, 07:38 AM   #9
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Nice piece Bribe i was feelin it............Very nice wordplay and flow.....and a nice story to it

Good Job

Quotables

like militant armed human viruses, ignoring cries that broke silences.
machine torned down trees, even hatchets that swelled up calluses.
Anaylisis of devastation was off , sad error in computing calculations.
we were more into new gadgets then save our self innovations.
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Old 10-16-03, 01:11 PM   #10
K.Largo
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up..thanx taktik..
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Old 10-16-03, 04:11 PM   #11
13th Disciple
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my boy handled it again.....u learn from the best... ..........nice
grasp on the imagery mi amigo .....good wordplay and use of
vocabulary...... couple nice multies in their ...... i feel sorry for the
cats in 2750 if this happens.... like whoa ...


year round cold has frozen the asthma of every plants' last breath.
no more grains of regret and even jesus broke his last bread


^i like this right here ...... u know about jesus? ....i thought u was
catholic .... lol ..... playing ....don't want no holy war up in here...
but.... like i said home skillet ......good job.... i'm not impressed
cuz u always come nice .....but i did find enjoyment in it...
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Old 10-16-03, 04:27 PM   #12
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I really felt this piece.. as a person who gave advice to me I can see why i get good replys b'cos you knwo what your talking about when it comes to writing.. This was very grapic with some outstanding lines

year round cold has frozen the asthma of every plants' last breath.
no more grains of regret and even jesus broke his last bread.

That was a stunner.. Alot of other lines were really good but that was all in its own.. Just some great imagery there

Props
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Old 10-16-03, 09:37 PM   #13
Dez
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fuck these one line replys..


anyway, i felt that you added a fresh new twist on a semi-played topic. most people wouldnt have gone this route because futuristic themes tend to be harder to work with than something that is based in the current time setting. But, you pulled it off. Your imagery was beautiful, never did i think that 'this couldve been done better'.

abide by no rules our motto of greedyness applies to every man.
too bad it shortened our supplies, for our hungry wrong demand.

^ the closer was quite dope..its plain to see that you saved the best for last.
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Old 10-19-03, 08:05 PM   #14
K.Largo
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Thank you Dezir ....Your the Best.!





now to all those sleeping.....UPPPPPPP!!!!
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