Changin up the structure in this verse cuz pple sayin it would be better when its not stretched so hear it is


Hey yo, I grab muh mic and test it up on the level
the rebel MC speakn in tongues that knockn the trebble
Off its scale, till the bass turns back up the rail
Slidn off its line, and make ya eardrums wail
To the point, where ya mind feels like its gonna burst
like a zit, disperse muh words now ya feelin the worst
its like a curse, and Im ya vodoo thats makn ya shake ya limbs
makn ya make ya sins, while Im makn u break ya chins
Count the wins, Im the battle cat thats untouchable
Im Talon holdin a condom, cuz Im really unfuckable
The mulit's split ya ends, its like hair on a dry-day
I leave ya assess smoked like Chris Tucker from Friday
its my-way or the highway, like Limp Bizkit I break-stuff
Fuck a 4 leaf clover cuz this Emcee just makes-luck
like a rape-rush, Im fuckn these emcees wit speed
indeed Im like a Detox when u temp-me wit weed
Cuz I'll smack ya face back like a fuckn whiplash
hey yo ya punches are retarded, they can never hit-fast
I mean it dunny sunny, yall better lay down ya-vest
Lay down respect or u can lay down to-rest

UPPIN FOR SUM FEEDBACK
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This was pretty good....new style seemed to work for you in this piece i thought.....It flowed well, didnt really get off.....your multies were nice that you used...i liked the metas you used, and your vocab was good maybe up it a bit but it was good....your content was good, stayed on topic i thought...it made a good read....keep at it...and keep dropping.

Nice dude...i like the multis...i was feelin it... up the vocab a bit...and you'll be nice...I WOULD like to see a little more wordplay...By the way THE OMENS...are lookin for some new kats...just post up tellum AUDIBLE said your in...its just an offer!