im spittin like a priest, just call it confession
with no little boys to be blesson i hope those rapists learned their lesson
i try to holla on rb, try to get a nigga to hear my track
but my backs on the wall and since im black im whack
i try to show the richeous way, but i fall in blazon defeat
my moms wont even gimme somethin to eat
i was loved by few, hated by many
nigga get to grindin and get shot down for pennies
i dont see y we're hatin, u cant get past the color
equal love for another, just rely on ur brother
my gurl tellin me she's havin our babies
dogs on this site bite so much u'd think they had rabies
im not lookin for a dope track, just lettin out my feelin
stead of gettin locked for jus for wheelin and dealin
i want my words to set me free
cuz tomorrow i might not be around to use rb
i feel like somethins missin, like a window without glass
or a fat guy wit no cheeseburger, or jlo wit no ass
i neva bit a MC, u can even chek the pages
cuz what rages is shit on stages, shoot a homie up wit ma gauges
im the reason gurls go to clinics
ya cant touch this flow, at best u could just nick it
my soul is tormented i gotta be rushed to emergency
for the doctor gotta examine ma family via autopsy
if its not to much trouble, there's somethin u can give me
have pity on my corrupted soul, and say u'll forgive me

__________________
___________
u prolly dont have a job and u sleep at da dock
put u outa ur misery so u can hang wit tupac
Victims
Onyx_Storms(ko) 86barsfromva(ko) XtremeFlow(5-1) crazypatient(ko) crazypatient gorillaquantity(ko) pro.fess.in.all(5-1)

That was a really good peice....it flowed brilliantly. Good work


Have a look at my peice its called 'Mom I'm sorry'

__________________

HARRY R.I.P
1940 - 2002

In Respect

thanx fo the feedback need some mo plz

__________________
___________
u prolly dont have a job and u sleep at da dock
put u outa ur misery so u can hang wit tupac
Victims
Onyx_Storms(ko) 86barsfromva(ko) XtremeFlow(5-1) crazypatient(ko) crazypatient gorillaquantity(ko) pro.fess.in.all(5-1)

Pretty Simple Man..Few Lines Were Funny..Try And Get More Real On Your Topics Man..Just Broaden Your Line Of Work..Spelling Should Be Upped..There Were Some Use Of Multies..Get More Of Them Into There And Just Think More About Each Line..Pz..

__________________
<center></center><center>Click Here.</center>

thanx mo feedback

__________________
___________
u prolly dont have a job and u sleep at da dock
put u outa ur misery so u can hang wit tupac
Victims
Onyx_Storms(ko) 86barsfromva(ko) XtremeFlow(5-1) crazypatient(ko) crazypatient gorillaquantity(ko) pro.fess.in.all(5-1)

comon guyz mo feedbak

__________________
___________
u prolly dont have a job and u sleep at da dock
put u outa ur misery so u can hang wit tupac
Victims
Onyx_Storms(ko) 86barsfromva(ko) XtremeFlow(5-1) crazypatient(ko) crazypatient gorillaquantity(ko) pro.fess.in.all(5-1)

this was a alright piece...try to make your lines around the same length though, it helps the structure and flow, and makes it look good in a way...but it flowed alright, bit off at points...add a few more multies and internals to help the flow...but overall it was a alright piece...keep at it...and keep dropping.

thanx it wasnt ma best stuff i'll do a sick open mic next

__________________
___________
u prolly dont have a job and u sleep at da dock
put u outa ur misery so u can hang wit tupac
Victims
Onyx_Storms(ko) 86barsfromva(ko) XtremeFlow(5-1) crazypatient(ko) crazypatient gorillaquantity(ko) pro.fess.in.all(5-1)