do i have problems that wont reach the pad/
glad mad or sad either way i had wat had/
dark shades me faster then lights can go out/
theres things that only my songs know-about/


PROBLEMZ*
fist full of fury,my scream so loud and still u cant hear-me/
room closing,fakes imposing cripin my style, as i slowly start decomposing/
rot 2 the core,4 and after i walk'd opposite of the door,losin 2 endless war/
came again but left no matter how i been,now not the same i was then/
time-settin a pace,like wen i climb hights juss another wasteless-rhyme/
maybe ill escape w/e out u 2 save-me,and live a small world like a premature baby/
i step back,cuz im not sure,w/o a cure im wasting your world like im unsure/
slave 4 ever, unable 2 behave,rant and rave, but i still see my name on a un-mark'd grave/
mind creates a diary,so wen if i ever marry and die, ull have somethin 2 admire-me/
my vision shrinks,still i see shrinks,curious 2 see wat inside me my brain thinks/
first a phsyco,repetive cycle,my life is goin in the dumpster no need 2 recycle/
wat of me can u re-use/booze addict,blowin a fuze at u,abuse u wit no exuse/
furious temperz attack my serious like crazy house delirous memberz/
i'd rather sit back gather information,useless 2 my work,as if i juss dont matter/

CHORUS*

does it effect,the affect i put out 4 respect/
wat must i solve, 2 help resolve problemz and get involved/
pain awaits me out dates me and constantly rates-me/
i write a beat,2 seat many more ppl who blow out my heat/

WAT I DO/WEN IM DOWN*

wen im hurt and feelin low,flow my words 2gether 2 tell and show/(show and tell)
contribute 2 my friends threw songs how i been 2 distrbut feeling as a tribut/
contain storys of pain,stain'd feelings hurt me in wayz only theze songs can explain/
torn apart like the way this paper plays a part like theze flows mark the chart/
yo i key verses like bitch witches see curses, and write faster then boyz steal purses/
my lines infinity, of how u been-2-me,like losin my gurl faster then losin my virginity/
y u look threw me like m transparent,my lines protect me more then my own parents/
if i write down the bad and the good, how sad i could but now im glad 2 wonder if i should/
like letter by letter,be better if i could remember,every member ive 4gotin and disremember'd/
chances i take,2 grow as a writer,glances i will take,ill quit now if sad is all i can make/
if ur feeling me,then where can our feelings be,in songs r the things healing me/
according 2 ppl, this songs gonna be a hit im all ready recording the sequel/
tragic beatings hurt my feelings,even wit magic im pure human as a sad addict/
but im throu wit ppl like u,ill blast over you, knock u out who gonna stop me certainly not u/
if i write, correct wats wrong from right, and keep my views clear 2 the sight/
than mabye i might, stand 2 chance in this fight 2 the death,like i refuze every night/
song 2 remember that im goin though showin and provin 2 u, the there ain nothin u can do/
i do wat i want, and 2 write my confuzion on sheetz,make beetz 2 this ill show u wat it creates/
its a plan 2 2 overwhelm the man put 2 and 2 together, and put my fist back in my hand/

CHORUS*
it done complete 2 ends will meet/
like u come at me,my wurdz will be there 4 u 2 see/
if if u run ur done,cuz my wordplay got u down faster den a gun/
love or hate either way there in my stories of music/
use-it 4 the better of man,like if u wanna kno me..my music proves-it/

end as hit its been fun but ppl remember where i come from, and remember my shit~~~

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THE RESTRICTED WUN HAS ROZE 2 CONQUER.....AGAIN!


I'M BACK!!!

yo son this was an ill drop really....im impressed expecting another hard head gay gang buster and instead got some serious deep rooted thought stay up twin and post more often

^^THANX MAN...

MUCH APPRECIATED'''

LOOKIN 4 SOME MORE FEEDBACK ....

COME ON Y'ALL

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THE RESTRICTED WUN HAS ROZE 2 CONQUER.....AGAIN!


I'M BACK!!!

...i got no feed back on this 4 the whole weekend..
and this is a piece i'd rlly like 2 have some feed on...

so if u get time...plz drop ya feed

much appreciated...

peace

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THE RESTRICTED WUN HAS ROZE 2 CONQUER.....AGAIN!


I'M BACK!!!

I didnt really like this, flow was hella off as i read it due to the long bars, it stretched the fuck out out of the flow and made it boring to read. More multi's and internals might of spoced this up a little more, but as a whole, i wasnt feeling this. You seemed to drift between ideas to quickly, transition was off because of that, wording needed improving to keep the readers attention, and dont tray sacrificing flow for content - which is what happened here - you tried fitting too much into too large a piece and that threw it off for me.

Not hating, just some constructive critisism.

Peace!

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W o r d P e r f e c t

^^i kno wat ya sayin man....

THANX 4 THE FEED...

its all appreciated..

only way i get betta..

so thanx

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THE RESTRICTED WUN HAS ROZE 2 CONQUER.....AGAIN!


I'M BACK!!!

really good

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HOLSTER

Thanx....man...

much appreciated...

__________________
THE RESTRICTED WUN HAS ROZE 2 CONQUER.....AGAIN!


I'M BACK!!!

Man, I Tried Readin This With An Open Mind, But Dog, Tha Flow Was Shitty. So I Hated To Piece From That Aspect. You Didn't Keep My Attention With The Topic Drifts As Camarac Mentioned. Multi's, More Wordplay, And Better Structure Woulda Gave This Piece A Little More Incentive, But Overall, I Think You Dropped The Ball On This One Cuz, I've Seen MUCH Better From You. Work On The Structure N Even The Lines Aiight Man ?

-Formula.